Why your 20s aren’t meant for relationships

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Why your 20s aren’t meant for relationships

Who needs a boyfriend when you have pizza (or a career to worry about I guess)

First, let me preface this by saying: there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. Being in a successful relationship is an amazing thing. To blend two lives together is no easy task. If you’re in your 20s and you’re in a committed, healthy relationship, I commend you. However, this article is not for you.

Most of the time, relationships suck. They do. Having to compromise, spend money on someone other than yourself, having less freedom, and listening to another person’s problem can get exhausting. Especially in your 20s.

Dating itself is tiresome. And when you throw a bunch of douchebags into the mix, it gets even worse. It’s just better to avoid them. At least for the time being.

Personally, I have had my fair share of dating experience – the good, the bad, and the straight up ugly. I’ve met extremely nice guys and it just doesn’t work out because the timing sucks. I’ve met the “players” that ghost you after two dates. I’ve met the stage five clingers that kind of creeped me out. And I’ve met some really, truly awful guys that don’t care about anyone but themselves. It wasn’t until I became single (and liked being single) that I realized that your 20s really aren’t meant for relationships. I found that, while being in a relationship can be fun and new, it’s more fun to be alone.

I wondered if I was the only one that thought this way. So I hit the streets (and by streets, I mean Facebook chats and text messages) to ask everyone I knew what they thought.

The question:

Why do you think your 20s are not meant for being in a committed relationship?

The answers:

“It’s super time consuming. It’s like taking three extra credit hours.”

“I don’t even have a real life yet. How can I share it with someone else?”

“No one knows who they are in their 20s. It’s hard to know what you want when you don’t know who you are.”

“You can focus all your time on being a good friend.”

“Singles have more fun. It’s a known fact.”

“We are in a ‘hook up culture’ and it is really intensified with people in their 20s. Everyone should just wait until they mature and actually call someone and pick them up for a real date. In your 20s it’s like ‘oh yeah we met at a party and then we hooked up and started texting.’ In your 30’s it’s like ‘we met through mutual friends then started going to dinner and meeting for coffee and realized how awesome we both are together!’ Which one is a better story for the grandkids?”

“You can drink as much as you want and make bad drunk decisions without having to worry about a boyfriend.”

“I have absolutely no self control so it’s better to be single.”

“Being single is way better than having a boyfriend. You can do whatever the heck you want. Cut all your hair off, wear what you want, talk to whoever you want. And no one will care.”

“Your 20s are supposed to be FUN not FUNky.”

“Generally, no one has their shit together at 20.”

“Casual dating is the way to go. You gain so much experience about other people. You make lots of mistakes but you can learn from them. Say what you will about Tinder and other dating apps, but they provide valuable learning lessons. I can confidently say that because of Tinder, I can spot a fuckboy from a mile away. It’s my greatest trait.”

“This is your time to be selfish. Spend all your money and time on yourself.”

“Who needs men when you can have like five cats?”

“You can travel anywhere at the drop of a hat and not have to worry about someone at home waiting for you.”

“You get to learn how to do things on your own and how to genuinely enjoy your own company.”

“It’s easier to become stable. Financially and emotionally when you don’t have anyone to worry about but yourself.”

“In your 20s, you’re still figuring yourself out and maturing. When you’re in a relationship and there are suddenly two people trying to figure themselves out at the same time, it can get volatile.”

“You can go wherever the moon and the stars take you. You can apply for jobs outside of the state, or even the country, without having to account for someone else’s life plans.”

“The first thing that comes to mind is typically, in your 20s you are still trying to find yourself. To learn how you handle difficult situations, who you want to be and where you want to go. Then, how you plan on getting there. When you add a casual relationship in there you don’t expect that person to help you get there. When you add a serious relationship in there you expect that person to be your rock through the whole process. You in return plan on helping that person to become and accomplish everything they want. The reality is that most 20 something’s are not prepared for that stage in life. The scale is usually lopsided. One person has their ‘ish together and the other persons ‘ish is a mess. The person that has it together ends up spending all their time trying to get the other person up to speed. Then they take time away from their own goals and end up resenting that person. It can work in your 20s but only if both people are of like mind.”


I know there’s a lot of opinions and experiences and you don’t have to take our word for it. But personally, I’m completely happy being a mom to my cat whilst doing whatever the heck I want.

Isn’t she cute?

@TheTab