Everything that happens when you try the Military diet
Not only did I lose four pounds in three days but also ate bugs and had an endless headache
I love food, and I do not even want to imagine my life without food.
However, a week ago, I found out about the Military diet – a three-day meal plan that promises the weight loss of up to 10 pounds a week. The diet includes hot dogs and ice cream, which I thought was strange since those are usually not considered diet-friendly.
Fueled by curiosity, my friend Kaitlin said, “Let’s do it!” Influenced by her enthusiasm, I decided to go along with it. I thought, ‘This cannot be too bad. It is only for three days anyway. Maybe I can even get rid of the ice cream belly that I gained during finals week.’
A few hours into day one, I started deeply regretting that decision.
Day one
Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice toast, 2 tablespoons peanut butter & 1 cup coffee or tea (caffeinated)
8:30am: I am a huge fan of breakfast food, but I do not like having breakfast in the morning because I am usually too tired to be hungry. Although eating right now seems like a waste, I have to in order for this diet to work.
11:50am: I want a bagel.
Lunch: 1/2 cup tuna, 1 slice toast & 1 cup coffee or tea (caffeinated)
12:50pm: Since I usually eat a big lunch, I am utterly disappointed that I only get toast and tuna today. Even though I miss food-truck curry, I am glad the tuna is filling me up. However, a half cup of tuna is just too much, and I am worried that I am going to smell like fish after I finish it.
3:45pm: I asked Kaitlin just now whether she wanted noodles for dinner. She said, “No, we are not giving up now.” It took me a while to realize how useless my question was. It does not matter whether we want noodles because we cannot eat them anyway.
5:10pm: I am hungry.
6:00pm: I am so hungry.
Dinner: 1/2 banana, 3 ounces meat, 1 cup green beans, 1 small apple & 1 cup vanilla ice cream
6:15pm: I am eating half of a banana which is a part of today’s dinner. A banana has never before tasted so good.
7:00pm: Even though I am not a big fan of apples and the chicken looks smaller than I expected, I am just glad that I can eat again. I shredded the chicken after I took the photo of the meal, and now I am eating it strip by strip. This is my effort to eat very slowly so that the food lasts longer.
8:00pm: I do not know how ice cream is going to help me lose weight, but sugar sure as hell tastes good.
11:00pm: Dinner was definitely not enough because I am hungry again. I am going to bed now so that I can eat breakfast soon.
Day two
Breakfast: 1 egg, 1 slice toast & 1/2 banana
8:30am: Surprisingly I am not very hungry, but I am still going to enjoy the meal. This is a good amount of food for me in the morning, and I love eggs.
8:55am: Kaitlin, who usually eats a big breakfast, seems to be still hungry. She ate the little leftover pieces of egg on my plate.
11:00am: My growling stomach tells me I should have waited until now to eat breakfast.
11:20am: I feel dizzy, so I am going to take a short nap.
Lunch: 1 slice colby-jack (alternative to 1 cup cottage cheese), 1 hard boiled egg & 5 saltine crackers
12:30pm: Lunch is very good, though not enough. Kaitlin and I still lack energy, and we both agree that going outside sounds painful right now.
12:50pm: We licked the plates to eat the cracker crumbs. It is only day two, and I think I have already hit rock bottom.
2:00pm: I am at a public library with my friends. They offered snacks and drinks but quickly remembered I am on a diet. I am glad that I am at least no longer dizzy.
3:00pm: Nope, my headache came back.
Dinner: 2 hot dogs (without bun), 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup carrots, 1/2 banana & 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream
5:00pm: While most of my friends went out for dinner together, I am back in my apartment.
5:30pm: It is finally dinner time! Who would have known that I would get excited about hot dogs, broccoli and carrots?
6:10pm: When I was almost done eating the vegetables, I found bugs on the broccoli. I do not even want to think about how many bugs I just ate. Yes, I am still hungry. NOPE, I am not finishing the little bug trees.
I guess I got some extra protein today.
7:00pm: I still have a bad headache, so I am going to take another nap.
10:30pm: Great, now I have a stomachache on top of an already bad headache.
Day three
10:30am: Wow, I had two nightmares last night, and I was on a diet in one of them.
Breakfast: 5 saltine crackers, 1 slice colby-jack & 1 small apple
10:45am: Even though I still have no appetite in the morning, my stomach is happy to see the saltine crackers again.
Lunch: 1 hardboiled egg & 1 slice toast
1:30pm: I am actually not that hungry, and I have not thought about food since breakfast. It seems like my body has realized that throwing a tantrum does not always work. I am not sure whether I should be happy or sad.
2:00pm: Today’s lunch looks very simple; but, hey, I am at least getting a full egg and a full slice of toast.
4:00pm: I am at my favorite bubble tea bar with a friend. The scent of tapioca pearls entices me, but I resist.
Dinner: 1 cup tuna, 1/2 banana & 1 cup vanilla ice cream
6:30pm: I cannot believe this is only one cup of tuna. I am watching TV to distract myself from the fishy smell.
7:30pm: That was a decent amount of food for dinner, and I do not have a headache or a stomachache.
Following the military diet, I was able to lose a significant amount of weight in just three days. By the morning after day three, I have lost four pounds. My stomach is flat, and my waist looks smaller.
Finally reunited with my one true love, bubble tea
Do I think it was worth it? No.
Although the last day was more tolerable than the first two days, the continued headache and a sense of lethargy dragged me down the entire time. I was not my usual energetic self. I was easily exhausted and often felt the need to take a nap.
Moreover, food is a huge part of my life. Not having control over what I can eat restricted my social life and just generally stressed me out.
I do not think I will try a fad diet ever again. I am just going to stick to healthy eating and regular exercise.
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