Moments every girl hates hearing, ‘Because you’re a girl’

Ladies, we may compete and fight over practically everything, but we always get some good bonding out of shared experiences. If there is a girl out there who hasn’t been deterred or rejected from something for being female, please tell me what cave you hid in to escape it. Depending on the way we’re raised, some run into these predicaments more or less, but one way or another — we’ve all been through it.

Painful as it may be, lets take a quick jog through memory lane.

‘Help mommy in the kitchen’

The first time my dad asked me to do so, I didn’t question it.

The next few times, however, I wasn’t feeling up to it and felt bitter as bitter could be watching my brothers relax on the couch. When I decided to ask him why my brothers couldn’t help in my stead, his response left me a little twitchy.

I help because as a woman I should to learn how to cook for my husband? Hold on, all around the world there are men who cook for a living: we call them chefs. Also, now more than ever, men are cooking at home — whether it be for themselves or their partner.

Considering plenty of couples cook for their spouse at sometime, shouldn’t both males and females know the basics in a kitchen? I say yes.

So, if the answer was “so you can cook for your future partner”, then sure — I get that. But don’t throw me behind a hot stove and hundreds of years behind in history because I was made with two X chromosomes. Of course, this varies with cultural beliefs, but I know for me and quite a few others, this was a fist-curler.

‘You can’t go. It’s too dangerous’

Missed hanging outside with your friend that day or going to that event you’d been waiting months for? Its OK, we all WTFed at these moments.

Most recently, I nearly argued to the death for a five minute walk outside my house one night. I told my mother I was feeling bloated and wanted to walk, something I do a lot at college. Why was I initially refused? The same reason I was asked to cook, except this time the logic behind it was concern for safety.

I think we understand our parents are just looking out for our well-being, but there are a couple key issues with their argument. First of all, we’re not stupid. If we see a shady character approaching us on a low-lit, empty street, we will likely sprint in the other direction. Although in all honesty, I don’t know why we would be there in the first place, because like I said, we’re not stupid.

Second, males are statistically more vulnerable to severe crimes than women. Sexual assault is a huge problem among females, but when it comes to other assaults such as robbery, men are more likely to be victims. Men aren’t invincible. They can turn into a victim just as easily when faced with the wrong person.

This is why getting turned down for being a girl feels equal to being turned down for no reason. It sucks.  

‘Don’t carry those bags’

Remember standing on the end of the cart as we pointed and begged for snacks we wanted? Yeah, after that the rest of the shopping was boring, which is probably why we sat in the cart.

The next time we got to do something was when it was time to take bags into the house. That’s when it happens.

The second I picked up one too many bags, my dad would give me the spiel. He said “ladies shouldn’t be carrying bags” and that in the future I should let my husband do it.

I thought it was only me, but while taking a ‘women in society’ class, I found almost every girl in the room went through the bag carrying bit. To us, carrying bags never seemed a gendered task like taking out the garbage.

If my brothers stood idle as I slugged heavy bags over my shoulders, I could see how that would be a cause for concern, but the thing is — that would never happen. I carry how much I’m comfortable carrying and more importantly, how much I want to carry.

Being forced to do nothing is more irksome than it seems. Guys, if you think we feel relieved at not having to carry anything, you’re wrong more than you think.

Besides, if I live on my own before getting married, how would I get groceries up to my apartment?

In all seriousness, when I thought I was alone in this struggle, hearing similar stories from other girls in my society class comforted me.

Then again, it was also when I realized these reinforced beliefs go way beyond such misfortunes. They make the world the way it is.

This unequal pay ridden, male-dominated society began with the thought that men and women have distinguished roles to play and that women can be taken advantage of. It isn’t only men supporting these beliefs either; women have also added to these setbacks — knowingly and unknowingly.

Now, I’m not an active feminist, but I’m always an egalitarian. I’m just starting with the small stuff, so that we can realize our faults and work up to the bigger issues.