What it’s like being the shortest girl in almost every situation

Five feet doesn’t seem that short to me, at least not until I’m around other people. I’ve been short all my life (clearly) and most of the time I love it. It makes me unique, adorable and unforgettable. “Yo, you know Sara?” “Oh you mean the really short girl? Yeah she’s cute.”

Being short has many advantages and disadvantages in a variety of situations.

In a group of friends

Con: I’m the designated middle seat occupier in the car because I have “the shortest legs”. Which isn’t necessarily true, tall people can have shorter legs too.

Pro: I’m also the designated cuddler because I’m so small. And I’ve been told I give the best hugs.

Dating

Con: Guys never take me seriously because I’m “too cute and small.” Correction, I may be little, but I’m vicious. I can and will cut you.

Pros: Tall guys usually love shorter girls. Which means a lot of basketball players find me cute and I’m not definitely complaining. Plus I’m basically guaranteed a taller boyfriend because I’m shorter than pretty much every guy. I can date the shortest guy and I’ll still be shorter than him.

Shopping

Cons: Nothing. Ever. Fits. The stores that match my college student budget and taste (like Charlotte Russe) do not have petite sizes. Maxi dresses just don’t work.

Pros: I can wear what taller girls can’t. I have definitely gotten away with wearing a shirt as a dress multiple times. I also have smaller feet so bring on the kid sizes and prices. There’s no need to pay $150 for Jordan’s, I get mine for the toddler price of $50. And I can wear heels everywhere and every day and get away with it.

Daily tasks

Con: I can’t reach anything.

Pros: I’m an expert at getting things off the top shelf. I will jump on the counter without hesitation and I will shamelessly climb on the shelves at the store. Plus I never bump my head on anything and my calves are insanely cut from standing on my tippy toes and wearing heels all the time.

Sports

Con: I was always picked last for volleyball. Of course, it could be because I have no athletic ability but I choose to blame it on my shortness.

Pro: Limbo is exceptionally easy.

Large crowds

Con: I’m constantly getting stepped on. Like, literally, I get stepped on. Those same basketball players that think I’m cute? Yeah, they have physically stepped on me in large crowds because I’m not in their eye line.

Pro: I can maneuver through a large crowd easily because I’m short enough to find the holes and fast enough to move through them.

Concerts

Con: There’s always that one douchebag that has to stand in front of me. Tall dude, you’re not made out of glass, move out of the way.

Pro: Most of the time I can sneak to the front of the crowd and no one says anything because they can easily see over me.

Pictures

Con: “All the short people go to the front,” everyone looks at me. Thanks guys.

Pro: Everyone else’s heads get cut off in pictures which is fine because then all the attention is on me.

Constant reminders

Con: People feel the need to let me know that I’m short. Like, “Omg, you’re so little and tiny!” Omg you don’t say, I had no idea! *Insert eye roll emoji*

Pro: People always call me cute. Which is a nice reassurance.

Amusement parks

Con: I still get measured for every roller coaster ride because I don’t look tall enough to ride them. I am.

Pro: I can pay kid prices.

Age restrictions

Con: I can forget about getting a beer without an ID. Apparently I look 12. I legitimately had a woman at Costco say she couldn’t give me a sample of espresso because I needed my mommy’s approval… I’m 21. Give me the damn coffee.

Pro: I’ll almost always look younger than I am which will be fantastic when I get older and start lying about my age.

At the end of the day, the pros outweigh the cons and I would much rather be short than anything else.