Body shaming is more than just fat shaming

Growing up I was super thin, a little on the taller side, and had long legs with a thigh gap. As much as the media portrayed this body type as “ideal,” I was still insecure, bullied, and body shamed to the point where I wanted to just hide. Getting called anorexic and having people laugh about how I had no ass was an every day thing. I was perfectly healthy and I ate like every other kid my age, but girls would constantly question my body. “Do you like, only eat salads?” “You should go to a doctor, you look sick” “Why are you so skinny?” I always felt like yelling back, “I DON’T KNOW THIS IS JUST MY BODY FOCUS ON YOUR OWN.”

At this point, I didn’t even like my own body so I got into fitness and gained some weight and lots of muscle too. I love my body now. I love my bigger shoulders and how my quad muscles pop out. I want to continue on my fitness journey and have shredded abs and bigger muscles someday because that’s what makes me happy. Even though I’m happy about my body, the body shaming still exists. Comments like, “Don’t get too big!” “Men don’t like women with abs” and “You’re gonna look manly” happen every day. A lot of these are from other women who have different body types than me. I still get the questions, “Isn’t it hard having such a strict lifestyle and always going to the gym? Why can’t you just love yourself the way you are?” And when I post before and after pictures, there’s always someone saying I looked better before.

My body and what I choose to do with it isn’t the only thing other women have questioned. I have a love for make up. Whenever I have the energy and time, I go full out with the contouring and everything. I feel so proud of myself for doing a good job with my make up skills, but there’s always that one girl who has to say, “You look better without make up” or just talk on and on about how they don’t wear make up and it ruins your skin. There have been instances of women questioning me when I tan. “Why do you want to get darker? You’re already tan.” I never understood how me being a few shades darker is impacting anyone else.

It’s so common to see women body shaming and “personal choice shaming,” and I’ve been noticing images supporting this one all over social media. At first, it looks like an effort to be body positive and show appreciation towards a certain body type. But is putting down another woman’s body really being “body positive?”

My thoughts when I saw this picture were, “my body doesn’t curve like that at all…am I not a woman?” I’ve always felt insecure because of my lack of curves and seeing posts about, “real women” with pictures of girls with large hips and DDs doesn’t make it easier. The worst part is, many times it’s other women, some who call themselves body positive, posting these pictures with captions like, “real men want curves” or “bones are for dogs.”

Honestly, men love and want whatever they want. There’s no single body type that’s more attractive than the other, and I believe that women should just focus on being the type of woman they want to become, and find a man that loves them for who they are. Because there is a man out there that loves you for who you are regardless what any other women has to say about how you choose to look and live.

It’s not just curvy women against skinny women, it’s skinny women against curvy women, muscular/athletic women against skinny and curvy women, etc. And it goes beyond just body types, I see women who don’t wear make up shaming women who do, women who leave their hair natural shaming women who don’t, and the list continues.

Wouldn’t it be great if we all just enjoyed one of the best parts of being a woman? We have so many options. We can do our hair how we want. We can be skinny, muscular, curvy, or whatever we want as long as we’re healthy. We can rock completely bare faces and natural hair, or get artsy with the make up and curling wands. All that matters is what makes YOU happy. It’s hard to stop others from body shaming, and the hard thing to realize is it will always exist no matter who you are. Everyone is different, just because someone does not agree with your choices does not make you any less valuable. We are versatile, unique, and the most beautiful when we are happy with being ourselves.