Why you’ll never convince me double standards don’t exist

Even my parents treated my brothers and me completely differently


When people say double standards don’t exist, I just want to ask them what world they’re living in and if I can please join. Really, it sounds great.

Because here on Earth, there happen to be endless double standards.

There’s no need to get defensive about it, it’s not surprising. It actually makes sense considering how often people tend to have different expectations for others depending on race, sexuality, gender and more.

Growing up, I noticed it more so because of my older brothers. If they wanted to go out, my parents encouraged them. Maybe that was because they were the type to barely leave the house, but still. Believe me, when it came to girls — only more encouragement. My dad always wanted to know the 411. One of my brothers had to hear “How’s Lucy?” at least 80 times after just taking the girl to prom.

Then, there was me. No fear struck me greater than asking if I could go hang out with my friends, especially when asking if I could sleepover. I was practically interrogated. My parents wanted to know who was going to be there, how long this hangout would run, what we were going to do, where we were going to go – everything. Let’s not forget they had to meet the parents too. That was a must.

Most of the time, I almost actually felt guilty, like I was going to do something illegal just because of how sketchy I thought they thought I was.

When I finally started questioning why I couldn’t go out as freely as my brothers, the response was always along the lines of, “you’re a girl, they’re boys” or “for your own safety.”

Usually, I just interpreted that as “don’t get pregnant.” But I wasn’t even close to that scene anyway. I really just wanted to see my girlfriends.

Going out late or staying somewhere overnight seems to always infer something bad when it comes to women. But being a man doesn’t make you any less susceptible to troublemaking. My brothers couldn’t get pregnant themselves, but they surely could have made somebody, and that definitely would not have been fun.

Now, I may not be a girl who likes to go out and fall into any guy’s arms, but I know plenty who are. While I don’t think it’s always a good idea, I don’t think women should be frowned upon for it any more than men.

A friend  experienced some of this hypocritical nonsense when her sex life was revealed in a group chat by an ex and helped along by disgusting comments from another ex. It was sickening and unnecessary, especially coming from these guys who called her a “hoe,” but had just as many, if not more, partners.

The phrase “all men are dogs” may be commonly used, but what’s sad is that it’s just an accepted fact that goes unquestioned. Why is it OK that men sleep around with a bunch of women and get praised for it by their fellow guys? It’s just gross to me.

But this just leads to more evidence that double standards exist. You know why there’s the term “man-hoe” now? Because hoe was already reserved as a term used for women. These male equivalent terms people come up with are just a constant reminder of the double standard – like “manny” or “murse.”

We see these standards practically every time women are in a position of power. They’re constantly called manly and said to be overly-aggressive even if they’re just doing their jobs. Right now, the spotlight is on Hillary Clinton, who “like a man, won’t pull out until she’s done” – just the most recent joke I’ve heard about her.

It’s sad and yet, I’m still facing double standards in my life everyday when I walk out the door. I can’t curse or I won’t be seen as lady like. I can’t wear skirts too short or I’m advertising myself as a hoe. I can’t even bend over to tie my shoes the wrong way or I’m begging for somebody to stare at my butt. Oh and I definitely can’t catcall any handsome men I see, not like I would. But that’s only for guys to do, anyway.

Of course, there are plenty of double standards that apply to men too — I never said there weren’t. Men can barely do activities like ballet without being called gay. It’s ridiculous. And yet, double standards are a harsh reality that have become acceptable to the point where some say it isn’t a reality. But I’ll never be comfortable enough to live with being compared to inanimate objects by people like Donald Trump without having others at least admit to the existence of double standards.

Don’t tell me they’re an illusion. They’re real and they’re unfair. So, at the very least I would like some recognition for dealing with them..