Can high school relationships work in college?

Many high school sweethearts take their significant others into account when deciding what college to attend – and if they don’t, many decide to stay together when they part ways in the fall.

The Tab spoke with college women to learn what their decision-making process was when it came to these young relationships, as well as whether they would change anything about their experience.

Grace, Rutgers University Class of 2020

Why did you decide to attend a different college from your significant other? Why do you feel confident in this decision?

“My boyfriend and I decided not to tell each other where we wanted to go until we finished our applications, only because we didn’t want our relationship to skew our decision.”

“We believe our future careers are more important and going to the school that is best for our majors is the most important thing. I believe our relationship will still work out, even though it’s long distance.”

Michelle, James Madison University Class of 2020

Do you have a more casual relationship, or do you believe that there is a deeper connection which will keep you together?

“My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months now, just because we’re going to be apart doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore, love just doesn’t go away that easily so we’re going to try our best to make it work.”

Liz, Syracuse University Class of 2020

“I believe that there is a deeper connection we share together because we always talk very seriously about the future. We’ve only been dating for eight months but I feel like we could go for a lot longer.”

Melanie, University of Pittsburgh Class of 2018

Did your friends still stay in a relationship with their boyfriends during college?

“My friends didn’t go to the same school as their boyfriends so that they could have time without their significant others to discover themselves and make their own mark on their campuses. But it didn’t work out past freshman year. After the first year, they went home for the summer – they found they weren’t the same people they were in high school.”

I wasn’t sure if I would be able to talk to anyone who had a successful relationship that started in high school and actually continued in college. That is, until I talked to Isabella Limonta, a public relations major who graduated college last year, and is still with her high school boyfriend, Tyler Wilcox.

Isabella Limonta, University of Florida Class of 2015

Why did you decide to stay together with your significant other in college? 

“Tyler and I had been dating for a year before college and we weren’t going to just end our relationship and all the work we had put in it just because we were going to college. I guess it was too good to let go.”

What was your first semester like? What were your major challenges and successes?

“The first semester [we were] figuring out college as a whole and balancing all responsibilities and fun. The biggest challenge was encountering a different kind of stress that such an academic school brings into a student’s life, but, we were each other’s support system the whole time and were able to figure out this different dynamic that college is.”

What sacrifices did you have to make throughout this relationship, and did that strengthen your relationship?

“There were times that, even though we were neighbors and went to the same school, we didn’t see each other for a couple days leading up to an exam. But, dealing with that kind of stress…just made us grow up and mature, and doing it together makes it a lot easier.”

Isabella is still going strong with her boyfriend of five years, who graduated UF with a degree in electrical engineering. She said she “wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I was also very fortunate to talk to Elene Mitzali, assistant editor of the Tab, who ventured to follow her boyfriend overseas to the UK. They broke up after freshman year, but Elene has learned a great deal from her first boyfriend, who she lived with for eight months after her break up.

Eleni, University of Nottingham Class of 2015

Why did you decide to stay together with your significant other in college? 

“After spending two years glued to each other, he left for college over three thousand miles away in the UK. A year later, so did I. You could say I followed him (it wasn’t my finest moment).”

At what point did you decide to break up? Why?

“There wasn’t even a breakup. No breakup text, no “let’s talk about things”. In a moment it was just over. We were together for four-ish years. I finished my first year and went back home…but the day I landed, it was like I ceased to exist in his eyes. Suddenly, it was over. I never really got a reason why. To this day don’t know what went wrong – and I don’t care anymore.”

How have you grown from your break up?

“…nobody will ever really know what I went through….[but] if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be where I am right now. Happier than I’ve ever been, and having the guts to say fuck it and just do me. Everything that happened made me realize the only person I should ever give a crap about is myself, and I am fully aware that’s a selfish perspective to have.”

Eleni wrote a phenomenal article about her breakup that’s featured on the Tab US site, I highly suggest reading it if you’re interested in learning the rest of her breakup story.

Michelle, James Madison University Class of 2020

How have other people in your life reacted to your decision? 

“My family is fine with my boyfriend and I staying together, they support me. Others haven’t really been supportive; they’ve been judging me and keep asking if I really think it’s going to work. I just don’t like people judging when they don’t know anything about it or us.”

Val, Baruch College Class of 2020

“My parents were never really involved in my college decision; they never really cared much about it. They’ve never met him, but I think if they did they would approve of it and support us staying together.”

Eleni, University of Nottingham Class of 2015

“My family told me to be careful but had known him for a couple years and were happy I found someone I really loved. My friends were all in relationships and only cared about guys so they were all for it.”