Do guys actually care about a how many people we’ve slept with?

One of the old as time double standards gets some light shed on it, from none other than a bunch of dudes


As a woman, I am often faced with double standards, sometimes every day. I’m 21 years old and it’s 2016. So why on earth is it such a big deal if a girl has had many sexual partners? It doesn’t seem to matter for a guy. Hell, if a guy were to be talking with his friends about him having sex with, let’s say 10 girls, he’d get a ton of high fives and possibly a drink out of it. If a girl were to have slept with the same number of guys, she’s be shamed, called a slut, and made to feel bad about herself.

To this, I have one word: Why?

I was shocked when one of my friends told me guys think girls have an unfair advantage when it comes to our number of sexual partners. Apparently they think it’s easier for a girl to sleep around.

“The theory suggests that all a girl has to do is walk into a bar looking somewhat nice and that is going to give her the opportunity to go home with someone by the end of the night.”

Guys get the impression that nine out of 10 times we could end up sleeping with any guy we wanted every night, but they don’t have that luxury.

“On the other hand, most men feel that it is more difficult to get a girl to sleep with them. Unless you look like Brad Pitt, it’s going to take some intellectual and conversational skills to convince a girl that she’s interested enough in you to seal the deal.”

They seem to see our sexuality as an unfair advantage which we use to sleep with someone – which in term gets us slut-shamed.

“If they are to exploit that advantage, males see it as sleazy, or ‘slutty.'”

To that all I have to say is I should be able to go out wearing whatever I feel like without a guy thinking I walked in there looking for sex. In your dreams, man.

I wasn’t going to let one guy’s opinion get me down so naturally, I asked a handful of some fellas I know why it’s such a big deal.

 AJ, 23

“To me it doesn’t matter. I don’t think women should be put down just because of their sexual preferences. They could just enjoy it as much as a guy does, and if they do then so be it. From a guys point of perspective, as long as their vagina isn’t loose then it isn’t a big deal. As long as they act classy.”

Kyle, 18

“Probably because girls take losing their virginity as a big deal and for guys it’s just something they want to get rid of. So in that sense I guess that’s why society shames girls and not guys. Honestly, I see guys who have slept with many girls as just as bad as girls who have slept with a lot of guys.”

Jeff, 23

“I think it’s because girls are supposed to be seen as pure and righteous so when they do have a high number of partners that somewhat tarnishes that image. For guys, we are brutes and are supposed to attain high numbers according to the stigma. For me it’s not so much about the number as it is the turnover. Like if it’s 10 guys in two weeks that comes off as a red flag but 10-15 throughout college isn’t anything crazy.”

Joe, 21

“Well, I think there is and always has been a sexist view on why people look at women and say they shouldn’t sleep with men in the same way that men typically look to sleep with women. I think it’s all just an old fashioned view on life that people have and were taught by their parents or friends. I don’t think it’s a big deal either way. It’s one thing if a girl is hooking up with a different person every night but things happen over time and I think everybody should be free to do what they want with their own lives without judgement being passed. Unfortunately most people can’t be like that due to what they were taught or heard from others in the past.”

After hearing what all of these guys had to say, it seems like the younger generation may be starting to stray away from caring as much about a girl’s body count.

A woman should be able to express herself in a sexual manner if she so chooses, without having to worry about being called a slut. If a guy goes out and sleeps with four women in a month, I highly doubt anyone calls him a manwhore. (I mean someone might, but his buddies are still high giving him for this “great feat.”)

Will we ever see an end to this debate? Probably not, but it’s a start.