All of the things I do for myself, not for guys

I like baseball because I like baseball – not to attract a man

Almost every single article on ‘how to be an ideal girlfriend’, or ‘what guys look for in girls’ chronicles at least a few of these traits.

And while I’m not trying to ward gentlemen suitors off, there are a number of things I enjoy and do for myself that¬†people automatically assume I’m doing to be more attractive to guys.

So next time you want to talk to me about basketball, don’t think it’s cute or endearing. Just fricken’ talk to me about basketball.

Love sports

You can’t fake the kind of enthusiasm I have for Virginia basketball. And when I watch ESPN’s ’30 for 30′ about the Red Sox winning the World Series in 2004? I cry. Every time. I do not pretend to like sports to attract guys’ attention. My obsession with David Ortiz is entirely self-induced.

Also when I say I like sports as a woman, please don’t grill me on every single play that was made in the 1987 season to prove that I really do like it. I don’t have to be an Encyclopedia to be a true fan.

Drive a stick-shift

Yes, I used to drive a BMW 540i 6-speed. Did I drive it because I wanted the guy who changed my oil to comment on how “most women can’t handle a stick”? No. It’s a high performance car that handles beautifully, and driving stick isn’t that hard.

Drink beer

I just spent the past four years of my life in Virginia, where some of the best craft beer in the world is. I’m not trying to be a ‘bro’ by liking Purple Haze and trying out a new coffee stout. I like the taste.

Breweries for dayzzzz

Watching superhero/action movies

OK so I’m not saying the only movies I watch are Marvel ones, but I do enjoy a good superhero every once in a while. Some of them are well done, entertaining films. And the new TV shoes on Netflix are fantastic. Jessica Jones, anyone?

Eat cheeseburgers

I’m not eating them because I don’t want to be the girl who only orders salads. Sometimes I am that girl because if I eat cheeseburgers all the time I would not fit in my jeans anymore. But when I do order a cheeseburger, or a steak medium rare, it’s because I really love the taste of a cheeseburger. And bacon.

Working out

If I eat cheeseburgers, I have to work out. It’s not so you can objectify me, it’s so I don’t become obese and die.


I would be shocked if my dancing would even seduce a man, but if it happens to, there is a good chance I don’t want you to join.

Care about my appearance

Obviously a bit of this is for my general appearance to everyone so guys are included, but a majority of the things I do for my appearance are for my own sake. Never has a guy ever said, “It looks like you haven’t gotten your eyebrows done in a while, we can’t sleep together.”

Do I like getting my eyebrows done? Yes. Do I do it for you? Nope.

Shave my legs

There is no feeling in life that compares to having freshly shaved legs and curling up in your sheets. It’s so smooooooth. So don’t even think I did it so you wouldn’t have to feel my legs be a little prickly. Literally don’t care.

Enjoy sex

Somehow this is still the most taboo thing for a woman to admit to. But yeah, I enjoy it. Not trying to hook up with every guy who speaks to me at a bar, and I’m not admitting to it so that you will come ask me for it.

Wear sexy lingerie

Almost 98 percent of the time I’m wearing lacy or sexy underwear, it’s underneath normal everyday clothing and no one will see it except for me. Wearing something nice can change the entire course of your day. It’s a little confidence boost that only you know about.

Take nudes/Selfies

They’re for me. I look awesome.

When I’m 80, I’ll look back at this and think, ‘Damn’

Dress up

Wearing nice clothing makes me feel better. I love wearing dresses. I don’t care if ‘showing a little skin’ is what guys are looking for, I honestly find them comfortable, I feel confident in them, and I don’t care if you like dresses better than pants. If I was trying to impress you, I’d walk around naked.

Wearing heels

I feel like a total fucking badass in them. Any time I get to feel a millimeter more like Beyonce than I normally do, I jump on it.


After a long day at work, cooking is cathartic. I cooked for myself all through college as well. It’s something I can do for myself that I have to do anyway, and if I’m going to cook I might as well make tasty food. Sure, I can make us a nice dinner, but 99 percent of the time I’m doing it just so I don’t have to eat garbage.