What I learned from watching my friend go through an shitty relationship

I recently watched a very close friend of mine go through a (way overdue) breakup with a guy who, though generally kind, friendly, and easy to hang out with, was not particularly motivated or aspiring/amounting to much. As one of her best friends, I wanted something more for her. I wanted her to be with someone who was as driven as she was.

This boy is probably not what you’re thinking. I bet you’re thinking, “He must just be ‘getting by’ in college or working a couple jobs.” No, this boy has only a high school education, one steady job that his father runs, and not a care in the world about it. In fact, he spends his days in his room getting high with his friends, paying no attention to the world around him or the fact that his future is looking about as bright as a dry rock.

Not only is he careless, he is recently very disrespectful toward my friend and a lot of other people around him. When I spoke to my friend about how she felt, she said, “He used to be so sweet and caring but in the end he made me feel like he didn’t care about anything, including me and my emotions or even himself.”

If I recall correctly, when they would (occasionally) go out my friend would pay for a good bit of of their meals, Uber rides (he doesn’t have a license or car), movies, etc. and when he did pay for things, he would expect immense gratitude from her—as if she did not deserve to be bought things. Not to mention, she does have two jobs at school and interns in the summer because she is determined to provide a good life for herself, so she was OK with paying for her own meals.

Now I understand the financial struggle, but if you are going to complain about money you need to at least try to make money. He just does not seem to have the energy, patience, or dedication to keep a job, but then feels as though he has the right to be stingy. Not cool, bro.

Not only was he lacking in the productivity department, he also lacked the ability to respect her as an individual with her own thoughts, opinions, and feelings. He put her down at every turn and invalidated her very being—that is only if it didn’t coincide with what he wanted.

“I felt like he isolated me from my friends and made me feel vulnerable, like I needed him,” she told me.

Finally, my girl has given her all to him. She has tried to motivate him to go to community college, get him away from marijuana so he can keep a job, and had not given up on him until now. Why would you give up a good woman who does nothing but love and care for you? Why would you be so careless as to let yourself behave this way? Good riddance.

Ladies, you do not need to take abuse like this. My friend is at college, maintaining internships, studying abroad and building a life for herself. She does not need to be brought down by such laziness and ignorance.

I had a relationship in which my boyfriend at the time, who’s life at home was not very luxurious, became so accustomed to the comfortable life I provided for him that he took me for granted and began getting upset with me when I would not allow him to do whatever he wanted in my house or spend my money.

In a world where women all over the globe are only second to men, we need to stand up for ourselves and claim our worth. In a world where tradition says that we are meant to be homebodies without careers of our own, we have to work hard to make a change. The first step in creating an equal world is to stop allowing men to oppress us.

Moral of the story is that we women are strong, independent, and we don’t need a man to complete us. I felt used by my ungrateful significant other, so I ended the relationship and realized my worth. What I learned from my experience is that you should never allow yourself to be taken advantage of and you should be with someone who supports you and helps you rise up and better yourself, not someone who brings you down.