Let’s hear it for New Canaan, the best hometown in CT

Ah, New Canaan, the only place in the world where it is completely normal for a boy to wear khakis every single day and people actually take you seriously when you wear Nantucket Red.

Our quaint little hometown isn’t known for its progressive ideas or diversity, but it certainly has its charm. If you’re from New Canaan, you know the struggle of trying to fit into the J-Crew and Vineyard Vines aesthetic, whether you wanted to or not. And if you survived the New Canaan Public School system, you definitely know what academic and social pressure feel like. So congrats to you for making it to the other side!

Zumbach’s

There were few things more thrilling than finding new ways to get off campus during free periods to go flirt with the hot baristas. But you had to make sure that latte lasted all day, because nothing made a better accessory than those all-white cups.

Tony’s

While you were ditching class to get Zumbach’s, you definitely picked up a sandwich or two next door at Tony’s while you were at it. Were you concerned about the deep-fried potato cones, bacon, and cheese in your New Canaan Special clogging your arteries? Yes. But the caffeine from your Zumbach’s latte always seemed to keep the blood flowing.

Lanyards

The best part about getting your license wasn’t the freedom or the independence. It was letting everyone else know that you had your license, which meant finding the most obnoxious lanyard you could at Walgreens. The trick was to put your keys in the water bottle holder of your backpack so the lanyard “casually” stuck out the back.

(bonus points if you got one from your college the instant you were accepted)

Mobil

Nothing to do on a Friday night because it’s goddamn New Canaan? Why not hit up the parking lot of a gas station! No place made for a better meeting spot, and you were guaranteed to find someone just as bored as you loitering in their car.

The Ultimate New Canaan Rivalry

If you didn’t hate Darien with a passion, could you really consider yourself a Ram? We all know the best rivalries are made when you literally cannot tell the two towns apart. Darien was just as waspy, and their sports teams were arguably just as good. But that didn’t give you an excuse not to hate their guts.

Taking the train into NYC

First of all, you never called it “NYC”. It’s called “The City”. Since there was never anything to actually do in NC, you went into the city for fun. If your mom let you take the train in with your friends unsupervised, you automatically became the coolest person ever. Bloomingdale’s and Dylan’s Candy Bar were a few of your hot spots. And you better believe you let the world know how much fun you had with a few snapchats, Insta’s, and Facebook uploads.

The moms who wear Lulu Lemon head-to-toe to do all of their errands

It was impossible for you to park your car on Main Street without almost getting run-over by a highly-caffeinated soccer mom driving an Escalade. She’s likely on her way to Oxygen Fitness, and by the way she’s driving, you know she’s about 7 minutes late to her Vinyasa Flow class.

You were expected to go to an Ivy League school

Your parents loved to remind you that they weren’t paying insanely high property taxes to fund one of the best public high schools in the country for you to drop out and live in a van down by the river. The pressure to be amazing, smart, and talented was real, and even if you’re now living beyond New Canaan’s borders, the expectations you set for yourself are still probably just as high as they were in high school.

Giovanni and Lewis School of Driving

New Canaan is probably the only place in the world where literally every single kid has been taught how to drive by the same person. And the only town where new drivers think it’s easier to parallel park than regularly park. Not only did Giovanni, the world’s most legendary driving instructor, teach you more than you needed to know about driving, he also probably taught you more about life than your parents did.

Red and Black

Are there really school colors more classic than red and black? Not only are the two universally flattering, they’re also– scientifically speaking– the sexiest colors in the world. Look it up.