Everything you remember if you went to Townsend Harris

What a weird and wonderful four years


If you have ever pledged to never desert your “comrades in the ranks,” you are either a young man in Athens circa 500 B.C. or a graduate of Townsend Harris high school in Queens.

And because of that crazy male-to-female ratio Townsend’s got going on, I’m statistically inclined to guess the latter – in which case, you may also remember the following things.

We used to wear ID cards around our necks

Long before we were trying pass backs with someone’s ID to get into a bar underage, we were trying to slip into our high school building on days when we forgot our IDs. Our efforts were usually futile.

Not to mention the pictures were from freshman year and yes, they were embarrassing. By senior year, we basically had pictures of ourselves as infants hanging from our necks at all times. Swag.

One word: collaterals

Like having to do a thesis several times a year, no big deal.

Gym class was not a joke

If you went to Townsend, you’ve likely felt the back of your throat bleed from running too hard in the cold. Now I struggle to get up a flight of stairs, but I remember the glory days when I ran 3.5 miles in sub-40 degree weather on that Queens College track and wanted to die at least once a week. I was in the best shape of my life.

The Senior Mixer was the social event of the year

Awkwardly held about two weeks into the school year, we as freshmen had no chance to find out who our friends were before we were thrust together in a grind-fest called the Senior Mixer. It was a big deal and anything could happen – but usually nothing did.

The election simulation

Everything I know about politics I owe to my peers dressing up as candidates and holding bake sales for Simbucks and the endorsement of the Christian Coalition.

The kick-off rally, you already know

The most recent simulation was featured on the New Yorker’s podcast.

Culture Vulture, anyone?

It was a fun excuse to eat at an Ethiopian restaurant once a year, wasn’t it?

Bands, not periods. Bands

Our friends from other schools thought we were all really involved in multiple musical groups.

We all took Latin for two years

I repeat: we all took Latin for two years. In a New York City public high school. We learned key phrases like “Caesar and two strong horses carried the water.” Why did we do that? Well, we told ourselves, it will be so helpful on the SATs. But was it? Who knows, but it sure was a fun time to be alive. And then there were those who took Ancient Greek. Why did they do that? That I really don’t know.

Remember this guy?

Classical music played between classes

We got some pop for one week of the year and it was the most exciting thing to happen.

That 70% female thing

“Did your school used to be an all-girls school?” “No, it used to be an all-boys school.”

We all decorated our respective halls for spirit week

Even though the seniors always won everything.

We conserved our voices for roll call during Founder’s Day

Which class was going to be the loudest? It really mattered.

Everyone went to Gino’s after school

It was a scene. No one really had extra money to blow on pizza after school, but we all went anyway – depending on who would be there, obviously.

There was a lot going on

Between SING, the play, Festival Of Nations aka FON, Harrisfest and Phoenix poetry readings, we were always running around to something.

We all took two classes at Queens College (four, if you count Humanities)

We either aced them or didn’t go. If the latter, we still wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what even happened to that transcript. Is it still out there somewhere?

It was a big deal when we were allowed to leave the building as seniors

Even though we were likely only crossing the street.

We all had a few demerits for no real reason

None of us escaped unscathed. We all probably got a referral for violating the ever-morphing dress code, or for daring to take the elevator without a broken foot – or maybe even for sneaking to our lockers during bands that weren’t lunch bands. Ironically, whatever it was, we probably did to try to avoid getting a demerit for something else, like being late or forgetting our books.

 Some of our best friends couldn’t go to prom

They took the elevator or forgot their IDs one too many times, deeming them an obvious threat to public safety. Despite their best efforts scraping gum off the bottom of desks as part of the “Townsend Harris Beautification Project,” they didn’t make the cut. Even though we pledged to never desert our comrades in the ranks, prom was apparently the odd exception. It is still a sore subject.

We all had fewer than 11 demerits so we were allowed to do this

We thought Bronx Science and Stuyvesant were overrated

Too big, too far away. And besides, who had Jonas Salk? We had Jonas Salk.

We missed out on the whole football team and cheerleader scene

Our wrestling team was where the real ballers were at (though the biggest ballers of all were those in Mr. Martinez’s oddly exclusive Spanish club).

Wherever we end up, we’ll always be proud we graduated from Townsend Harris

Ad astra per aspera, you know?

Don’t forget: we pledged to leave our city greater than we found it

And I think we all really will.