Horses are a girl’s best friend

That moment when you realize an animal five times your size and weight is concentrating solely on you…

Yeh, there’s nothing quite like it.

Horsie people are a rare breed: as a rule, we’re tough as nails.  We get up early to muck out, we lug bails of hay and tons of tack and we often get thrown off for our troubles.

But for some whatever reason we actually seem to enjoy it… we never call it quits, anyway.

Horses are basically oversized dogs that aren’t allowed in the house

They follow you around, they beg for food and only horse people realize how soppy they are.

 

Riding in the snow isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

You know that feeling when your hands are literally frozen in a fist on the reins?  Yep, we’ve all been there.

For the first ten minutes it’s beautiful and picturesque, then as you slowly but surely freeze to saddle you start reevaluate your life decisions.

Lifting ground poles is better than any work out

You haven’t felt the burn until you’ve constructed and subsequently deconstructed a course of jumps.

When it rains, these water logged deadweights are the absolute worst.  Grab some gloves and lift with through your knees…

Everyone automatically assumes you’re rich

“OMG you ride? You must be a millionaire.”

Incorrect, my friend.  It’s an expensive sport, and unless you’re Pippa Funnell the outgoing cost doesn’t even touch the sides of what’s coming in.

Plus, one look into those enormous eyes leads to you grabbing your wallet and doling out the carrots.

Don’t bother giving them a bath – they will roll

The sun is shining, spring has sprung, and it’s finally time to stop that pony resembling a dirty dishrag.

After a painstaking process of scrubbing every sock, teasing through the thickest of tails and polishing within an inch of your life, he’s shining like a brand new penny.

Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. He knows your game, he knows you’re trying to ruin his grungy “image” and he will maintain eye contact while he finds the biggest pool of stagnant water in the field and douses himself.

Being covered in hay is a fashion statement

Your hair, your clothes, the teeny tiny stitching crevices of every jacket and boot…

It’s impossible to get it out and you’ll splinter yourself to death trying

Nothing smells better than fly spray

If it’s wrong I don’t want to be right – it smells like summer, hacks through the park and T-shirt tans.

A flapping plastic bag = you’re going to eat tarmac

That treasure who was sold to you as “bombproof” will take that label and throw it in your face at the mere sight of one of these.

If the weather forecast says anything about wind, don’t even bother. Quit while you’re ahead, stay in and oil your tack.

Or a rabbit. Nothing scarier than a rabbit

As above, hell hath no fury like when your Thoroughbred spies a teeny tiny bunny.

You wouldn’t swap your sport for the world

Everyone who says riding isn’t a real sport needs to leave.  Every chilly morning start and bump and bruise are worth it.