Things I wish I’d known before rush

Unless you’re in the dirty South, you don’t need pearls or recommendation letters, and you actually have a shot of getting into a house without being a legacy.

So if your roommate’s persuaded you to go through recruitment and you’re a bit clueless (read: your mom wasn’t president of a prestigious national sorority and didn’t raise you on stories of sisterhood shenanigans), fear not. We can pretty much wing it the whole time and get into a house we’ll love.

That being said, here are a few things I wish I’d known before I went through it.

It doesn’t matter all that much what you wear

Cornell provides guidelines for attire. Definitely check those out, but don’t go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. The truth is, so many girls come through the house that no one is going to remember what you specifically wore. Also, no one is going to be impressed with pearls on casual day because we know you don’t really walk around campus like that. The best thing to do is simply to be the most put-together version of yourself.

There may be one or two odd houses that care about name brands and it will be obvious because you will see people looking at your shoes. You would probably be miserable there.

Between houses, comfort is key

Outside the houses, it doesn’t matter what you look like at all. So don’t be afraid to look ridiculous. If it’s the dead of winter, bundle up. Bring a hat, gloves and a scarf. Bring boots you can slide right out of. The night before, practice layering your warm clothes over your rush outfit.

You will be terrified

I’m not even talking about your nerves. I mean, it will literally be frightening. As you line up in front of the houses, sorority girls inside will be screaming and banging on the walls. It will be loud. Try to smile and act unphased. Do not let them see your fear.

The sorority girls you talk to are not random

As you walk into the house, a sorority girl will quite literally grab you and take your coat. She will lead you in and sit you down. She may be dancing as she does this and it will seem totally breezy and random, but she already knows your name, as do the other girls who will come over and talk to you next.

The sorority girls may crouch on the floor

The houses get super crowded (and loud), so don’t be surprised if the sorority girls are crouching on the floor or kneeling on some small available space while they talk to you. It may feel a bit weird and your first instinct may be to ask if they want your seat, but their job is to make you comfortable and they won’t switch with you.

The sorority girls may be more nervous than you are

Despite what movies may show, sororities are not out to make superficial judgments about you. They are looking for genuine girls they can connect with. They may be nervous and start rambling about their favorite Netflix shows, especially if it’s their first time going through recruitment as a sister. After all, they want you to like them, too.

You will probably be doing most of the talking

It may feel a bit awkward doing all the talking, but it’s OK if that’s the case. Definitely ask questions to keep the conversation flowing, but remember the sorority wants to learn as much about you as possible, so don’t stress if the conversation isn’t totally balanced.

There is no hidden significance to the hot chocolate

Or whatever drink they offer you. Really. The kitchen is making them for every girl, and it doesn’t matter if you take it or not. No one is judging either way as long as you are polite about it. So go ahead, drink the whole thing — or spill it all over yourself. You will not be the only one. I promise.

There will be hand signals going on that you won’t know about

If the conversation seems to be going smoothly and the recruitment chair or president shows up to talk to you, she may have been signaled over. It’s usually a good thing, so just smile and go with it.

Do not ask which frats we party with

Boys and drinking are both taboo topics during recruitment, so you’re putting a sorority in an uncomfortable position by asking. Also, it just sounds shady. Sororities want to know you’re more about the sisterhood than boys.

Being rude is not a strategy

Recruitment is exhausting and some girls think can avoid a trip back to a certain house by getting cut on purpose, usually by being rude. One year, a girl told my sorority sister she didn’t want to be in our house and wasn’t going to do any talking because she was conserving her voice for the houses she wanted. My sorority sister took it in stride and spent the ten minute conversation talking to herself. Sadly, that PNM didn’t get into any houses because recruitment chairs talk, and they stand up for each other.

So even if you think you don’t want to be in a certain house, act like you do. Remember: it’s a mutual selection process. If every house loves you, you can have your pick.

If you go out and party during recruitment, you will regret it

Trust me on this one. You will need every ounce of sleep you can get.

Besides, partying is just not what recruitment week is for. Best case scenario, you’ll be exhausted. Worst case scenario, it will create awkward situations because…

Your friends in Greek life will ignore you

Sorority girls can get their chapters into trouble if they talk to potential new members outside of the rush process, including casual texts. So if your upperclassmen friend in your favorite sorority suddenly ghosts you, it isn’t personal and it certainly doesn’t mean anything about your status with that house.

As you get to the final rounds, take in the other PNMs around you

Even if the girls in the house seem nice, it’s the other girls rushing with you who are going to make up your pledge class. If you find yourself standing on line during final round with a bunch of bitches, run.

As a friend of mine said of her rush experience: “I was on line for final round at one of the ‘top tier’ houses and was nervous. As we lined up, I would chat with the girls around me about being stuck out in the cold or tell them I liked what they were wearing. But when I looked around the line at this particular house, no one looked friendly, no one wanted to chat or joke around. I couldn’t see myself becoming friends with girls like that, so I automatically knew it wasn’t the house for me.”

You may think it went well and still be cut

Sometimes it really is just a numbers game. Certain houses have national rules about GPA minimum or how many sophomores they can take, etc. It’s usually not personal but it’s still hard not to feel a sting, especially when you feel like the conversation went well.

If you don’t get into a house, life goes on

After all, co-ops have great naked parties.

Most importantly, look like you want to be there. Even if you don’t and your feet hurt. Just keep smiling.