If your college was a Christmas song, this is what it’d be

Who knew Christmas songs were so relatable to life as a York student?


We've been hearing them non-stop for weeks, and have surely had enough of them by now, but before we block them out for good, we need to settle which Christmas song is which college.

Constantine: Baby it's Cold Outside

This song is dedicated to Constantine, as the last stop on the 66A route from York. The lyrics are spot on when Dean Martin sings "I’m lucky you dropped in" because the journey is a trek, and we all know it. And he’s right – the wind tunnel that is Hes East really does make it "cold outside." Being so far out, there really aren’t any "cabs to be had out there," and waiting for an uber will be like waiting for this song to end.

Halifax: Last Christmas

The infamous silverfish living in Halifax are what makes the lyrics of "Last Christmas" just so relatable for this college. "Once bitten & twice shy" surely gives Halifax students flashbacks to sleeping in the same bed, and sharing cupboards with the little, gross insects. Really, why hasn’t it been dealt with, "to save me from tears?!?"

Alcuin: Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

Alcuin, probably the only college organised enough to have put up a Christmas tree and with being one of the oldest colleges in the university, the students here relate to being the "new, old-fashioned way." They choose to relate to the song when Brenda Lee sings "Let the Christmas spirit ring." Because this is surely an invitation to drink spirits and not revise over the holidays, right?

James: Step into Christmas

Step into Christmas has been playing since 1973, but old Elton John knew before us the importance of free entry. James College students will be belting this song out over the holidays, relating unashamedly to the lyrics "the admission is free" which is repeated five times throughout and reminiscing over Society’s free entry. Maybe not the way he intended, but definitely the way that caught our hearts.

Derwent: One More Sleep

It's almost as if Leona Lewis wrote this song for Derwent College. With "three more wishes, I can barely breathe," the Christmas countdown for Derwent students in asbestos filled rooms is just too relatable. "If I could make it ‘til Christmas eve" after breathing this air for a term straight, it would be a Christmas miracle.

Vanburgh: Christmas is all Around

Vanburgh students probably relate to this song. The bad singing, like Billy Mack on Love Actually, is heard throughout the college at pre-drinks, fuelled by vodka mixers and jagerbombs. Just like Billy, Vanburgh is on the verge of stripping on live TV, just to get some attention and be known. The college and song are old classics, being revamped into more tragic, but undoubtedly lovable, versions.

Langwith: Santa Baby

This Christmas screams the need for a sugar daddy, and who better than the wealthy Father Christmas. Paying the Langwith rent really puts a dent in our student loans, so this song is just too aligning with students living here. Persuading the sugar daddy for presents you can no longer afford is easy when you tell him about "all the fun I’ve missed" being on Hes East, the furthest from the city centre – and don’t lie, it touches a nerve when Eartha Kitt sings "think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed."

Goodricke: Silent Night

Sleeping in "heavenly peace" this Christmas are the new students of Goodricke college. The desertedness of campus east ensures every night will be a silent one, whether they anticipated it or not. At least "all is calm" for those hangovers you’ll be wanting to nurture.

Wentworth: All I Want for Christmas is You(th)

The post-grads of York who live in Wentworth will be belting this song out with Mariah Carey tomorrow, bonding over not wanting "toys" and "presents" – because, let’s face it, they’re too old for that. Mariah sings about the "sound of childrens’ laughter" that fills the air, painfully relatable to the students of Wentworth hearing the other eight colleges when they’re off out each night. And it’s this that reminds them that "all they want for Christmas is you(th)."

So, there we have it – the official ruling of which Christmas song is which College. And now that's settled, we can all take a vow to never hearing them again until next year (Thank God).

Nevertheless, just like JB from JLS, I wish you a Merry Christmas!