Mystery poo left in lecture hall while Roses supporters sleep


It wasn’t just the result that was a bit shit for York supporters who had travelled to Lancaster for Roses, as some of them slept alongside a human turd on Friday night.

The poo was left between the hours of midnight and 4am, while 50 other York students were sleeping in the County South Lecture Theatre.

The turd was discovered by UYAFC, the men’s football club, after they returned from a night out in Lancaster.

Edward Fotheringham, the Men’s Football first team captain, told The Tab:

“After arriving back in the lecture theatre from a night out, we were greeted by a steaming poo in the corner of the room. Needless to say the shit hit the fan. Everyone started shouting and scared the crap out of a very disgruntled volleyball club.”

The Volleyball club sent out a tweet the following morning that indicates that they were unaware of the gravitas of the situation despite being woken up by the commotion.

The identity of the culprit responsible for poo-gate is unknown, although Fotheringham offered his own speculations: “My immediate thoughts were that it was Jeremy Nestor. Obviously I lost the plot. The only people in the room before poo-gate were cheerleaders and volleyballers.”

Max Palfreman, a second year Maths and Economics student was equally nonplussed. He told the Tab:

“I was shocked and disgusted that not only had I been subjected to a night’s sleep on a cold, hard lecture floor, but that someone had also shat about ten metres from my head.”

Students sleeping in the County South lecture theatre were barred from the room on Saturday afternoon while the mess was dealt with, but were allowed to return to sleep there on Saturday night.

Lancaster University Students Union were contacted for comment.