How to spend this weekend if you aren’t going to Roses

Roses are white, I’ll be in the library all night

It may seem that everyone is taking part in Roses. People you didn’t even know played a sport are suddenly striding around in their uni sport stash and their instagram is now polluted with #rosesarewhite and #thisgirlcan. But for those who don’t spend their Wednesdays traipsing across the north of the country to compete against other unis in your chosen sport, then this weekend can be just as triumphant.

We’ve kindly given you a handy guide on what to do this weekend:

Who wants to watch American Football anyway?

Get a good seat in the library

If you are staying in York this weekend then you have the opportunity to make a nest out of the blue thrones in the JB – you may even be able to arrive after 8am. You can enjoy the lack of black and gold sports gear around the library – all the while preparing for the return of the UYRUFC ‘legends’.

So much room for activities

Go to the gym and not get judged

This deserted weekend may also be a good use of that gym membership you promised yourself was justified. Feel free to burn up a sweat without being judged by those with actual bona fide sporting prowess.

Take complete control of the Phats dancefloor

However if you do play a sport and aren’t going to this year’s tournament, take the opportunity to get ragingly hangover by being the only one in Phats, and not having to worry about your 9am training the following morning. If you really want to ascertain your sporting merit then ask the DJ to play the Beth Cash song for you as well.

Prank your sporty housemate

If you find yourself home alone this weekend then it would really be the perfect opportunity to prank your sporting hero housemates’ bedrooms. The classic cups full of water trick or cling film everything they own down to individual pens and pencils are classic options. Or a more abstract choice is putting googly eyes on EVERYTHING to really creep them out upon their return. Failing that, just build a fortress in the middle of the house and re-enact your own War of the Roses.

Roses isn’t just for those in their athletic prime. Someone has to maintain the campus in order to prevent the fowl from taking over once and for all.