In defence of being a clearing kid

No I’m not thick


It’s second term of second year and people still look at me in horror and disgust to hear I got into uni through clearing.

My god I am such a fucking awful person.

There are two types of people everyone seems to hate at York: Oxbridge rejects because they all seem to think they’re better than us, and clearing people because they don’t deserve to be here.

Reality check, we’re all at the same uni, we’re all equal, let’s back a cake with rainbows and smiles and all eat it and be happy, k?

I don’t have to redo alevels celebratory drink

A-Levels for me were shit. I hated my subjects. I was unwell for ages. I am the queen of procrastination.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

End of the day, I may have got CCC but still ended up at a better uni than a lot of my year.

Clearing kids r scum

And contrary to belief, no I did not “suck someone off” to get into uni.

I may not have got the grades needed for my course and original choice of uni but I’m at York nonetheless, doing the same course as you, the same reading as you and drag myself hungover to the same 9am lectures as you.

And really loving it.

Why all the hate?

Clearing kids are always left out of drunk kiss pics

Disgruntled second years claimed: “We hate clearing people because they pissed around during their A-Levels while I worked so so hard to get the grades I did.

“Why should they end up at the same, prestigious university I have after they got really shit grades.

“York seems to accept way too many clearing people. Most of them don’t even work hard at uni.”

Always resorting to the bottle

Any clearing student will tell you that results day was the most stressful day of their life.

You’re at school, clutching your results sheet, crying, avoiding all eye contact with your parents, who you know are writing you out of their will because you’re the disappointment child.

Your friends are asking you constantly what you got. Your teachers are giving you patronising advice about going into hairdressing. Your older Oxbridge-going sibling is texting about visiting you at the uni you’ve just failed to get in.

It’s all pretty shit. No amount of KFC could make me happy that day. While you were all out on results night getting drunk, I was crying and trying to think of somebody to father my inevitable child.

My life is over

Calling up universities the following day and telling them how amazing you are and how your shit grades were clearly all the fault of your high school added to the stress.

But in the end I got more offers from universities, top universities, than I did when originally applying for uni. And probably more than you, too.

All these top universities suddenly wanted me. Why am I still seen as such an awful person?

I’m going to uni, my mum will still love me

We’re a minority at uni. We’re picked on for being given a free pass to uni. People treat us like we’re absolute airheads. It’s fucking hard alright.

So stop with the hate for clearing people. Yes we missed our grades. But we got a chance to still go to uni.

When you get that compensatable fail, maybe you shouldn’t be allowed a second chance.

Yes, clearing kids may have got shitter grades than you but managed to get into a top uni. Stop the hate. Channel your hate into getting a 2.1 while I, a scummy clearing kid, continue getting Firsts.