The THIRD and FINAL round of BNOC votes is here at last
Meet and vote for our final nominees!
So guys, it’s finally time: here we have the last round of votes before the final of the Warwick Tab BNOC Competition. Once again, we received over a thousand votes in the second round, so thank you to all who took part!
Just a reminder, after this third and final round of voting, we’ll have the long awaited Grand Final. We’ve already got Jacob Evans and Enoch “the BNOC” Mukungu thrown in the mix, but who else will have a shot at the BNOC crown? Votes close on Saturday.
We’ve got the four final nominees to introduce, so let the third round commence right away!
Cosmos Zero Aghadiuno
First on the ballot this time round is Cosmos Zero Aghadiuno, whose Instagram bio kindly confirms that this is in fact his real name. Cosmos lives up to his astrological name by studying Physics, something I’m sure he hears a lot so let’s forgo anymore name discussion.
Why should you vote for him? Well the answer actually involves his name. He told us: “I have nine middle names so technically I’m the biggest name on campus.” There’s no arguing with that.
One voter explained why Cosmos should be this year’s BNOC, the reason being simply that “he is Cosmos”. I don’t think anymore needs to be said.
Next up we have Devraj Roy, a first year Maths and Physics student. Devraj offers a compelling case for why he should be this years BNOC – he explains: “You should vote for me because why wouldn’t you?”. Very convincing stuff.
He says that he has “no clue” why he was chosen, but voters seemed to see him as an obvious choice. One claimed that “he’s a god who has come down to Earth in Human flesh”.
Devraj closed his comment with the following plea: “If you don’t know me, vote for me and if you do know me, vote for me as well.” An appeal to the masses from Devraj!
Our next nominee is Elyas Rasick, a first year Law student and time management aficionado. Self-proclaimed “BNOC material”, Elyas thinks he should be BNOC because of his “exceptional time management skills” – a claim refuted by a voter who explained that he is “always late to every event”. But as the old saying goes, time management is not in the criteria of a BNOC, so why is it such a large concern for Elyas’s voters? Anyway…
Elyas says: “Wherever I end up I’ll always radiate good vibes. I never know what’s happening half the time but I’ve made it this far so surely I’m doing something right. Vote for me and you’re a legend”.
Another voter claimed that Elyas “goes through jägerbombs like it’s holy water”. A vote for Elyas may be a vote for Redbull baptisms.
Finally, we have the long awaited Balaaj Bhatti, whose fans have been bombarding the Warwick Tab Instagram in anxious anticipation of his announcement. Balaaj is a First year Economics and Industrial Organisation student, or as one voter claimed “doing a masters in sigma grandest”.
Balaaj offered — as expected — a beautifully crafted sentiment when he was asked for comment: “Balaaj Boss. Shoutout to Sarim too!” Thank you Balaaj for those stirring words, and please put me in touch with your ghostwriter.