Everything you’ve missed from the Warwick clubbing scene
Because we all love to wait in hour-long queues, pee in vomit-covered toilets and come out at 3am covered in a mixture of 100 people’s sweat
We can all admit (and if you can’t, then you definitely have too much pride) that clubbing at Warwick is not exactly ace. And yet, somehow, we’re all still sat bored at home wishing that we were back in those grimey clubs, drunk off our faces, and chugging down the cheap mixers. So I thought, why not make everyone feel that much worse by talking about what we all miss from those Warwick days of getting pissed.
Ah Neon, the underrated club. In first year everyone is obsessed with Smack but the reality is that Neon is the underdog of Warwick clubbing – the different music rooms are varied and Viallis is right outside. There are so many things we miss about Neon:
- The sick in the toilets. For some awful reason, Neon attracts pukers, and those of us who can actually handle our drink then have to pee in the sick infested toilets
- The glass window in the squished R&B room that would turn opaque from condensation. And then you accidentally rub up against it and feel disgusting for the rest of the night
- Having to wrap your fat coat around you because the cloakroom is ALWAYS full. You wait in the freezing cold for an hour being shoved around just for them to refuse to take the coat that saved you from freezing to death. Fun times.
Realistically though, there are a couple of things we actually miss:
- The cheap tickets! Students from other universities are shocked by our £6 bargain price
- The location. Right by the church, right by Viallis, the convenience of Neon is sexy
- The choice of rooms! From pop tunes to rap, and we all love that room at the front that plays the BEST R&B throwbacks!
- The photographer! You know you love that baldie
Oh the sauna, we do not miss you. Just kidding, the entirety of Asoc is desperate to return. Smack is an experience that one definitely does not need to have in their lifetime, yet there are a few things we will miss:
- Always arguing with the bouncers
- Again queueing for hours, only to finally get inside and queue for yet another hour just to go downstairs
- The godawful flipped version of Smack that ruined the club completely
- Finally, genuinely dying of sweat downstairs
We will miss the odd things though, like:
- The cheap cloakroom! 1 pound is heavenly!
- The picture wall – we all have those amazing drunken pictures by that wall
- The first year memories!
Finally, we move on to the only Coventry club – and I can say with confidence that it is not worth that trek from Leamington. When you mention Kasbah, students either love it or cannot stand it. While I don’t think anyone misses the expensive cab journeys, we will ultimately miss:
- The pervy locals
- The Coventry Uni students
- Always needing cash. What club doesn’t take card in 2020?!
I suppose what we’ll actually miss is:
- The awesome smoking area. Even if you don’t smoke, you still spend most of your night there
- The comfy seats upstairs! The revamp wasn’t too bad after all!
- The chip van!!!! Makes the night!!!!
The Copper Rooms
Finally, the Copper Rooms. If you’re graduating this year and have never boogied in the Copper Rooms, you are not a true Warwick student (just saying). We have all done it, and secretly, we have all loved it. There is something about the cheesy, extremely British music that Disco Dave shoves down our throats that makes us feel alive. Still, I’m sure we will all miss:
- Getting hit in the face by some guy’s sweaty top that he’s swinging round to I’ll Be Ready – and then feeling his sweaty body against yours and wishing you were no longer alive
- Secretly beefing the person pushing against you nonstop. Elbow, elbow, elbow – a quick shove when no ones looking. Hmm… who did that?! (that was actually quite fun)
- Being in a room of mostly white guys who think (for whatever reason) that because Stacey’s Mom is playing they can try it on with every girl they lay their eyes on. And they get rejected almost every time
What we will actually miss:
- Being able to use the eating at Warwick card!!!! That 10% off makes the world of difference
- Those tunes – Pop is for unleashing your inner cringe and allowing yourself to give in to the guilty pleasure
- The chip van – WE LOVE YOU!
The sad reality is, no matter how godawful our clubs are, we still miss them like crazy. We just want to be drunk again, falling over, and dancing like lunatics. Just remember that the clubbing is probably better wherever you are moving back to. And when you feel yourself (for some reason) missing these Warwick clubs, you can remember the reasons why they are such trash and we can all try and feel a bit better.