This Business School Society promo video is the most Warwick thing ever
Was the horse really necessary?
Picture this: It's Freshers' Week and you're desperate to recruit a bunch of bright-eyed, bushy-tailed students to join your business society. What do you do? Hand out some flyers? Post an Instagram story? Or perhaps create a promotional video?
Well, that's exactly what the Warwick Business School Society did. And the results are… interesting. It's a masterpiece of pure cringe, and somehow the most aggressively Warwick thing you'll ever see. Don't believe me? See for yourself:
Posted to the Warwick Business School Society Facebook page on Monday, the video has already gathered attention, racking up 2,026 views.
That's 2,026 pairs of eyes that have witnessed what can only be described as a cross between an advert for Lloyds Bank and an Oxbridge fever dream.
The video opens with a shot of a girl on a horse. Yes, seriously. It's a bold move, yet oddly unsurprising. Who knew that a single frame could scream so much? But what's downright strange is the sound of tribal horns blaring in the background. They make the video seem more like an advert for a middle-class cult than a business school society.
Then, with absolutely no warning at all, drums start going off. Each ear-splitting beat is punctuated with a fun and exciting phrase like "member exclusive corporate events" and "marketing mentorship programmes." Cool! and! fun!
The whole thing is pretty disorientating, especially when words flash up so rapidly that they practically etch themselves onto your eyelids. But don't panic! Just to confirm that you are still, in fact, watching the Warwick Business School Society promo video, the creators were kind enough to throw in glimpses of the Burberry and Bentley logos. Phew! That was a close call.
We are then treated to real heart of the video: Business people doing business stuff – Like walking around in suits, sitting down in suits, standing up in suits, collecting awards in suits, and clapping in suits. Did I mention suits?
One particular shot sticks in the mind. It features a group of five people attending what appears to be the world's bleakest meeting. If you look closely, you'll see that not a single one of them looks like a student. In fact, they all appear to be pushing forty. What happened to them? It's unsettling to say the least. And you would be forgiven for thinking that maybe this isn't a promotion for Warwick Business School Society after all. Maybe it's a warning.
Then, just when you think it can't get any more predictable, the video hits you with the old "work hard, play hard" chestnut. As far as business promo goes, it's fairly predictable. So to keep you on your toes, the video throws in another thrilling montage. Fab!
And here's where things gets weird. Suddenly the scene cuts to various people running in slow-motion, a clip from Kendrick Lamar's "Humble", a rocket launch, and a faceless woman dressed as a stylish lamp.
What do all these things have in common? They have nothing to do with the Warwick Business School Society. Nothing at all. What else do they have in common? They're all, inexplicably, in this video.
But fear not! You won't have to spend all day every day dressed like lamp. Because even though the Warwick Business School Society works hard, it plays even harder.
"But how will the promo video convey this fact?" I hear you cry. The answer is simple: With yet! another! montage!
The video cuts to scenes of football matches, mad parties, fancy balls, networking opportunities, and tours. And, to be fair, it all looks pretty mental. They even get to graffiti "WBBS" on a wall. Their people are gnarly, dude.
But then, just as you're getting invested, the scene changes. You're faced with that girl and her horse again. The hype music fades, giving way to a eerie humming sound. It's chilling.
You realise the truth: This isn't an episode of Made in Chelsea. It's a promotional video for Warwick Business School Society.
And, as you review the mind-bending events of the past minute-and-a-half, you realise something else: You haven't learnt a thing about Warwick Business School Society. All you can see are suits, suits, and more suits. You wonder if you'll ever see anything that isn't a suit again.
You close your laptop, feeling a strange sense of emptiness wash over your insides.
"Perhaps English Literature isn't so bad after all," you whisper.