The trials and tribulations of being a North Londoner at a regional uni

It’s so difficult being so much better than everyone else


It's tough, you know. Being from the best city in the country, and having to move to somewhere culturally inferior because you don't want to live too close to your parents' semi detached house in the suburbs.

However, us North Londoners always seem to find each other at uni. And we have some things in common that we just can't shake, wherever we are in the country.

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Everywhere you go, you know someone, even if you don't actually know them

North Londoners have this innate skill where they can name-drop people they don't actually know into daily conversations. You may have only met them for 10 minutes at a shitty piss up on Primrose Hill when you were in Year 11, but it counts. You're still mates.

The brunch places just don't compare to London

How are you meant to compare the Coffee Cup in Hampstead to a shitty, student run Costa at uni?

Public transport is shit wherever you go to uni

I used to complain about TfL when I'd have to wait four minutes for my bus from Finchley to Islington. Little did I know how privileged, and naïve I was. Now, I'm breaking a sweat on a packed U1 that comes every 13 minutes which doesn't even take Oyster cards. Tragic.

Your uni shopping centre makes Brent Cross seem half decent

We all know that Brent Cross is quite shit, but that doesn't stop us going there every time we come home from uni.

People bring up "cool" places to go to in London, but you've been visiting them for 20 years

I learnt how to navigate my way through Selfridges aged eight, and I got my pretentious Instagram pictures of the Saatchi Gallery when I was in Year 10. Sorry, it might be cool for someone who's never efficiently used the tube before, but I'm over it. Next.

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People judge you for having a car at uni but they don't understand it was a birthday present

Seriously I didn't ask for a Fiat 500, my dad said having one would help me pass my test sooner. And why would I let my parents pay for my insurance all year round if it's just sitting on my driveway at home? Of course it's more efficient to take it to uni.

You can't believe people who live in Hertfordshire have the audacity to claim they live in North London

If you can't walk to a tube station within 10 minutes then you don't live in London. Fight me.

You'll always be disappointed at the lack of sushi restaurants and frozen yoghurt shops in your uni town

Nothing really compares to the night-time trips to Yogopink or half price lunches at Sushimania. It's part and parcel of a staple North London lifestyle – and probably one of the things you miss most about home while you're away.

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Your uni friends would rather get public transport home from clubs instead of Ubers and you just can't understand why

Maybe it's because we've all grown up being told to never wander the streets of London alone at night. You can always tell who the North Londoner is in your friendship group, because their Uber app is on the first page of their phone and their account is already synced with their dad's card.

"Oh yeah, he went to a school near me" is a sentence you utter daily at uni

He either went on tour with your cousin, has slept with a girl in your friendship group or is your neighbour's best friend. Either way, you definitely know him…sort of.

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At least four of your home friends also write for The Tab at their uni

There must be something in the water in suburban London. We're all gorgeously charismatic, hilariously eloquent and ridiculously narcissistic.

Knowing that nothing will really compare to an XOYO Monday night out when you were in Year 13

You still go through the Facebook pictures to see if there's anyone you know being papped in the club, don't lie.

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South Londoners are just a completely different breed

Anything south of Camden Town is technically Surrey.

You just can't understand people's obsession with Leicester Square

It is probably the SHITTEST place in London to go. Don't even get me started on Zoo Bar.

You can guess someone's A-Level grades purely on what North London school they attended

If you're from North London, you are basically a walking Tatler's Good Schools Guide. You know exactly what secondary school came top of the tables this year (because you checked to see where your school came in at) you know all the Oxbridge stats, and you know at least two people who "failed" because they didn't get their firmed uni.

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You have to do your weekly uni shop in Tesco because Waitrose is too far away

My mum wouldn't be proud but I guess this is what student life is all about.

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You know that after uni, you definitely won't be wandering out of Zone 5 anytime soon

We'll all be working in London, not worrying about extortionate rent prices because we have that haven, between inner-city chaos and rural Hertfordshire, to thankfully call home.