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A foolproof guide to throwing the perfect pre-drinks

Thank me later


Week two is up, and so the mayhem of the coming year begins. Your brain might still be sleeping from last year’s traumatising exams and your body might feel like it’s been dragged through hell (maybe it has…I don’t know what you got up to in freshers').

Does that mean you are going to throw in the towel, lay books on the table and actually study every evening? Of course not. This is unay! A time for meeting people, making terrible mistakes, and destroying your developing brain while you still can.

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You will be out as much as your loan allows you. Every Wednesday you'll be throwing back those jägerbombs at the bar before bobbing back towards your circle of newly made friends and Disco Dave's cheesy pop hits.

But hang on there one second mate. You’re not going anywhere near the sticky floors of Smack until you have had a good few hours of pres with your Warwick family.

What’s that? How do you arrange a pres? I hear you ask. Well look no further! Here’s some advice on how to throw the best pre-party possible.

You have to make sure the guest list is perfect

The first and most important part of any party is who will be attending. For the perfect pres, you want everyone to feel included and it’s always best to get that initial shyness out of the way as soon as possible. The best way to avoid this awkwardness is easy: just invite people you are actually comfortable talking to (and someone with a Spotify premium account). Maybe you should throw out a few invites to some campus geese for variety. They're not violent, just misunderstood. Invite who you like, but just make sure that security don't end up knocking on your door.

Timing is EVERYTHING

So now that you’ve got word out that something crazy is going to pop off, it would be helpful if your guests knew when to show up. You need your party to be early enough in order to be fairly wasted and comfortable with the sweaty, scary interior of your chosen venue.

However, people need time for their pre-pres meal (the most important meal of the day). You don't want them to end up passing out with their heads in the sink now, do you?

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So let’s get the maths right here. Last entry for pretty much everywhere is midnight. In order to get the perfect dose of dangerous drinking, stupid games and pretentious conversation, you will need a good two to three hours. Bear in mind though, most people are too awkward and will need to pre before the pres in order to do more than just stare at the wall.

With that in mind, tell everyone to come an hour earlier than the start of the party, so that they arrive an hour late, but don't actually miss anything.

Getting all the pre-drink essentials ready

The next step is to make sure that people feel welcome. Essentials include: plenty of plastic cups, straws, various mixers, speakers that actually work, fairy lights (trust me) and some banging tunes.

Your music choice will either make or break the night

In order to set the right vibe, think of where you’re going next and what sort of crowd will turn up. If they’re cool and edgy, then get a mix of hardcore techno and experimental jazz on. For everyone else, just go for some classic hits from the early 00’s, the latest chart toppers and sprinkle a couple of old-timers in there for variety. That way you can't go wrong.

Drinking games are a no-go

If the conversation is flowing and everyone seems to be getting on fine by themselves, then maybe chill out and put the cards down. Drinking games are fun for first week, because they help you get to know everyone.

However, by the time term 2 rolls around, you’ll want to cry every time you hear anyone shout, “Let’s play never have I ever!” Or “Why don’t we play ring of fire again?”

So, all summed up, drop the games after Fresher's Week. Get to know everyone like an adult because, to put it frankly, you won’t remember what you bonded over the next day anyway.

Make sure you leave on time to get to the club

This is the most difficult part of the night to organise. Actually, it’s impossible. Leaving the house on time, with everyone wobbling behind you towards the club before eleven, is like trying to sculpt water. You can wave your hands as aggressively as you like, and shout as loudly as you can. But, in spite of all your efforts, you will still always end up leaving late, and some of you won’t make it at all.