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These are officially the things you can’t wear once you’ve graduated

That Red Puffer sadly won’t last forever!


So, you've made it. You've taken your final exam, you've bought your grad ball tickets and you've sent off yet another postgraduate internship application. You're about to leave the Uni Bubble and enter "The Real World". Yet in 90% of cases, the one part of us unprepared for this leap into the unknown is our wardrobes.

For the last three years, we've counted ourselves well-dressed if we've made it out of our pyjamas by midday, but unfortunately this won't cut it at the office. This begs the terrifying question – what do I wear now I'm a responsible adult? Sadly, I can't tell you everything, but to help you on your path to employment, home ownership, and a pitiful workplace pension, here are a list of things you definitely shouldn't wear now you've graduated.

"Have I Told You About My Gap Yah" Trousers

They were stylish when you were cleaning up the beaches in Bali, but now you happily pay £4.50 for instant coffee and have accepted an accountancy job in the city. You are no longer rebelling against the system, you are part of the problem. MOVE ON!

That Red Puffer With Absolutely Everything

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This is actually a tragedy. You've bought yourself a brilliant coat – it's functional, it's fashionable and looks great with your skinny jeans and Adidas Air Max. You've hit the student fashion jackpot. Yet sadly, it just looks horrendously out of place with the M&S skirt suit you're trying to pass off as Ted Baker. However, this is definitely worth keeping in your cupboard as a reminder that you were once a 'cool girl' even though you're now bottom of the corporate food chain and haven't been referred to by your actual name in months.

Those sneakers you've been wearing to SMACK for the past 3 years

Can you even imagine all the sticky carpet residue they've absorbed in their time? Sure, they're sentimental to you – they've been through the good and the bad right there with you, but it's time to trade them in for some Clarks 2-inchers, darling.

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Dungarees

Repeat after me: "I am not Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia. I cannot wear dungarees over the age of 22." Just don't please – unless you're taking over your parents' failing hotel in Greece and are prone to belting out ABBA every time something conveniently dramatic happens to you. If so, I'll make an exception, dancing queen!

Any Kind of Freshers' T-Shirt

Ah, memories. Each piece of the fresh merch you accumulated over first year is a keepsake of simultaneously the best and worst year of your life. And yet now, wearing these as anything other than pyjamas makes you look a bit like that guy that wore their school leavers hoodie to every lecture – it suggests you can't quite move on. Of course, this is true, but don't shout about it. Keep the T-shirt while it still smells like Purple as a reminder that you could once afford a social life.

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Headbands On Men

You think you look like Gareth Bale, but actually it's more reminiscent of Keira Knightley in Bend It Like Beckham. A forgivable mistake in your youth, not when you pay taxes. Either 1) Attempt a man bun, or preferably 2) Go to a barber.

Anything That Hasn't Been Washed in Months

Let's be fair, this is grim anyway. However, at University, you passed it off as grungy and alternative. In the world of work, it's obvious that you couldn't be bothered with a dark wash and you just look unhygienic. Get yourself some colour catcher sheets if you're really inept and thank me later.

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Avocado Print

This one is important. You are working in a corporate firm with many, many Gen Xs. You wear an avocado print T-Shirt and they will assume you're a spoilt Millennial who drinks craft ale, thinks a 'work-life balance' means a four day weekend and can't afford a mortgage because you live on avocado toast. Please do the students coming up behind you a favour and don't perpetuate the stereotype – actually we're technically Gen Z and I prefer avocado smash, so there!