All the things you’ll understand if you’ve ever lived in Rootes

It’s a shithole, but it’s OUR shithole

Your standard of living will plummet but oddly you'll be fine with it

Sharing a grimy shower with eight other people? No problem. You don't even bat an eyelid at skids in the toilet. You'll even begin to convince yourself that pissing in your sink isn't THAT bad (it is. Stop it.)

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You have maintenance's number saved and ready to call at any moment

Mould, rats, mushrooms, ants, spiders – you name the infestation, we've had it. Your radiator has leaked twice already this term and your flatmate's rice has blocked the sink, again.

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Every block has its own defining personality

You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but you can definitely judge a Rootes fresher by their Block. It's common knowledge that L Block has the fittest boys, J Block is where all the smokers are at, and that E Block NEVER stops partying.

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You will never pre anywhere else because nothing beats Rootes kitchens

You host the best pres because you're just really sick. Every kitchen has its resident Drum and Bass DJ, at least one promoter and someone always has strobe lights. There's nothing quite like a game of beer pong among your unwashed plates and rotting saucepans in the comfort of a Rootes kitchen.

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You'll constantly be in beef with your resident postgrad tutor

No one knows her name but we know she needs to be avoided.

Anything that isn't on central campus is a trek

If my parcel can't fit in Ivory then I don't want it. You'll probably need to invest in an inhaler if you're thinking of walking to Maths and Stats because you will definitely be out of breath when you get there.

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You'll end up forming massive inter-flat families

As if 16 of us wasn't enough already. By the end of first term, your flat, the flat next door, the flat above and the flat below will basically all be one massive family. Don't even get started on the amount of incest there will be.

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Sharing is caring

You'll only study in the Learning Grid because the Library is just SO FAR AWAY

Can't excuse this one, we're all just lazy.

Everyone knows EVERYONE

Need a Smack ticket? Go to George in N Block. Need to use a printer? Just use Hannah's from downstairs. Just say the 4 magic words, "I live in Rootes" and you're guaranteed a new friend, because we all know that Rootes freshers are the only people worth socialising with.

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You will go to the Terrace Bar every single night because it's basically on your doorstep

And you'll always run into at least 15 people you know.

You will never sleep, ever

Early nights? That's a foreign concept in Rootes. Even if you try to get some rest, you will undoubtedly have your drunk flatmate, coming back from Kasbah, barge into your room and sing his old school song to you at 4 in the morning.

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You have perfected the 2 minute 30 second walk from your room to the Humanities Building

What's the point of turning up early when you can be perfectly on time? You'll be the envy of your Lakeside mates who've had to plan a 20 minute excursion onto campus, when you've only got out of bed five minutes ago.

Rootes is where you will meet your true friends

You will experience ungodly things together. If you can survive a year of Rootes with these people, you will have a solid friendship for life.

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