Why the Dirty Duck is the best thing about Warwick University

Duck is love, duck is life


Our campus is full of great little spots for all times of the day and for whatever mood you might be in. But out of all the places, The Dirty Duck has to be the best. And here’s why:

The name for starters

Tutors are always encouraging us to ask more questions, to challenge what we know. Well, why a duck? Why is the duck dirty? What did the duck do to make it dirty? What kind of dirty are we talking about here – is this a promiscuous duck? Why am I inclined to eat somewhere with the word ‘dirty’ in the title? The very name of the place stirs a dissertation’s worth of discussion, thereby stimulating our brains. So really, going there can only be beneficial to our degrees.

Nowhere else on campus can you get such a wide variety of meals

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Mexican, Indian, Thai, Chinese, Italian – it’s all there. If you’re scared of spice or seasoning, don’t panic! At The Duck, not only do you get all these foods from different continents, but you get the most English version of them that you’ll find in the campus vicinity. If this Anglicisation offends you, you can piss off to Xananas.

The Duck can make you feel like you’ve got all the time in the world.

Whilst some of your table will get their food, you might have to wait a little longer for yours, giving you the opportunity to contemplate the questions posed in point one, write your dissertation, graduate, get married and have a child. If there’s a place that wants to see you succeed, it’s here.

The terrible music that’s bound to burst your eardrums

Why go to Pop, Neon and Smack all on different days when you can go to The Duck and listen to the same mix of music all at the same time? If you want to sing your heart out to Mr Brightside whilst bits of burger fly out of your mouth, you will not be judged. Ever wanted to ‘Get Busy’ with Shaun Paul and simultaneously chomp on some onion rings? Here you can!

The Chicken Inferno

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Need we say more?

That chef with the man-bun and bandana.

We don’t care if you take an hour to make my food. We don’t care if you’re a grown man wearing a bandana. We love it.

The view are like nowhere else on campus

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Everyone needs to feel good about themselves now and then, and the view from The Duck’s balcony gives you the best opportunity to do so once you get the pigeons to stop eating leftover nacho crumbs. Not only are you looking onto Rootes, knowing that it’s the day after Pop and someone’s probably just gone into the toilet and vomited due to the combination of excessive alcohol and the leftover smell of someone else’s purple-induced shit.

But you can look down upon everyone else too as they scurry off to their lectures, making painful small talk with that flatmate they never clicked with but for some reason that day they left at the same time and now they have to talk aimlessly about the fire alarms and how annoying they are.

The cracking karaoke

Worried that you’re going to get caught out for not having a TV license but still watching X Factor anyway? You can stop breaking the law and come to The Duck for their very own X Factor, or as they like to call it, Quackstar Karaoke. As delightful as it is to watch people sing who can’t really sing on the TV at home, with a beer in hand and an Iceland pizza, it’s even more delightful and socially unacceptable to do it in The Duck.

It’s the place to go to for everything

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You’ve just had an essay back that you thought was a solid 68 but turns out it was actually a 54. Or the other way around. Or you’re hungover. Or you’re meeting that guy from Tinder. Or you’re catching up with a mate. Or you forgot to make some crappy pasta last night for today’s lunch in an attempt to save money and now need some food ASAP. Whatever cause, whatever the reason, The Duck will always be there for you.