Every red flag you should spot when choosing your housemates

Living with your girlfriend is not a good idea


It’s that awful time of year again. Everyone’s already starting to panic unnecessarily early about housing and the usual worries are starting to emerge. Where will I live? What can I afford? But more importantly who should I live with?

This is a question that must be thoroughly considered and it’s often hard to tell who would be a bad flatmate next year, but there are a few red flags that anyone can spot relatively easily.

They have poor hygiene

You and Luke get on really well, he’s a top lad and is always up for a pint, but you’ve started to realise that you never see Luke doing any washing. Come to think of it, you never see him in anything apart from the same T-shirt and jeans, you can’t remember ever seeing him shower and when he opens his bedroom door a strange rotting smell wafts into the corridor. If they’ve had the same sponge since the first week of Freshers then it’s a serious red flag.

They’re always passive aggressive

The smiley face doesn’t make you sound like less of a prick

This is often hard to spot but note the girl with matching paper chase files, which are colour coordinated and alphabetised for her modules. She likes to subtweet her ex and posts way to many selfies with vague captions on Instagram. Be wary of this otherwise you’ll have a year of “Whose mess is this?”, “Please don’t use my spatula without asking” and “Clean the microwave after you use it”.

They stress over everything

Calm down mate

These guys are obvious to spot because they’ve been asking you about your housing plans since last June. Anyone panicking about housing before term’s actually started, are likely to panic for the rest of the year making you feel like you should be panicking too. It creates a cycle of panic that is neither productive or enjoyable – avoid at all costs.

They’re someone you’ve shagged

Do I even need to explain why this is a bad idea?

They’re a party beast

There’s a party animal and then there’s a beast. Raving until 7am in their bedroom, playing loud music constantly, bringing back hoards of friends every single night and just generally being entirely inconsiderate may sound bad but it isn’t the worst thing about the party beast. The worst thing is that if you ever ask them to be quiet, they’ll make you feel lame for not being cool, which just makes you feel shit for even getting out of bed. The easiest way to spot a party beast is asking people when the last time they had a night in was, if they can’t remember then they’re too wild to live with.

They’re your other half

Awww you met in Freshers and have been dating for three months, so you’re gonna live with each other next year? It may seem adorable but your partner is a serious red flag. This is university, you’re not 40 with three kids and a mortgage! Do not move in together. You don’t know if you’ll still be together next year, you don’t know if you’ll still be together next week and even if you do stay together all that time do you really want to start bickering over who left the oven on with your girlfriend? It’s more stress than it’s worth, don’t bother.

They can’t grasp the concept of money

So you have your budget set out, looking for somewhere under £90 a month, hoping to get a double bed out of the deal but you’ll settle for a single if it’s cheap. Meanwhile, your best mate’s strolling through north leamington looking into the boutique shops and massive houses, planning their next step on the property ladder. Budget issues divide houses, so if you can’t afford the Louis Vutton handbag they take to lectures, then you can’t afford the lifestyle they’ll want in a house.

They love pranking people

It’s just not funny

Yeah it’s all funny in first year when someone ductapes all your cutlery together, but by second year you don’t have time to deal with cups of water all over your bedroom or your keys being wrapped in tinfoil.