Every boy you would have dated as a teen living in Bromley

Bromley may not be known for its unique dating scene but it definitely should be.

If its your hometown, there is an array of boys that you probably dated from the ages 12 to 18 and when you look back, you certainly wish you hadn’t.

The skater boy that couldn’t actually skate

 

Charlie was probably one of the first boyfriends you would have had at the age of 14 to 15. You never had to worry about what you looked like because his fringe covered the top half of his face anyway. A typical date would include going to the skatepark in Churchill Gardens and listening to Suicide Silence or Bring Me The Horizon.

You’d sit on the side with his older mates whilst he attempted to skateboard. You would pretend to find his friends fun, but let’s be honest, they barely spoke. Ever since, you’ve struggled to look back at your emo stage.

The guy that went to Olave’s

After you’ve moved on from your fake emo stage, you decided to hang out with some more normal boys. Alistair from Olave’s was from the typical middle class family and was probably also the nicest guy you’ve dated out of the lot. Your first date would have been pretty normal, going to the ODEON behind Sainsbury’s to watch a movie and then a dinner at Pizza Express. A couple of weeks later, you were boyfriend and girlfriend. This relationship was lovely but it just ended up fizzling out.

The posh one that went to Eltham

You met Hugo at a Year 11 house party. At first you thought he was cool before you realised he went to Eltham College. You would always meet in town because he was too scared to introduce you to his family. Eventually though, the relationship became a hassle because his GCSEs were always going to come first.

The wannabe ‘road-man’

You thought that you could change Darren, but you were wrong. This guy wore a £100 tracksuit but only had £10 in his bank account. On your first date he took you to Nando’s, but somehow you ended up paying for him. You didn’t realise he was dodgy until a notification popped up on your phone to tell you that ‘Your friend Darren on Facebook has just joined Instagram as BalloonsBromleyLtd’.

You were willing to forgive him before you found out that he DMs all your girls on Twitter. It’s a good thing you didn’t get that matching tattoo together. You thought that he’s moved on but he still comments on all your Facebook photos with: ‘Jheeez, you look alright still’.

The typical Bromley lad

Now that you were older, you thought that you’d be wiser. You’ve just started 6th form or college and were ready for an adult relationship. You met Brad, you know the one; full of flair, this guy that would never stop talking. Typically dressed in skinny jeans, a pink Ralph Lauren shirt and extremely gelled hair.

His life revolved around the gym, Ralph Lauren knock-offs and his boys. Him and ‘his boys’ would go everywhere together, but thankfully he turned up by himself on your first date. You started off in ‘The Slug and Lettuce’ in Beckenham for pre-drinks and then went to ‘Time’ to finish the evening off. If you were lucky, he may have taken you to the Shard for your one month anniversary, like every other girl before you.

The one that broke your heart

After all your traumatic experiences with the previous guys, you thought you’d just be single for a while, but that didn’t work because Jack came along. You thought you found the one. You thought you were going to go to be together after uni and that long distance would work. In the end you didn’t even make it through Year 13 because he kept saying that he needed space to make up his mind about ‘the future’.

Your heart would shatter when you when you’d see him kiss a different girl every different Thursday in Tiger. All your mates stopped giving you advice because even though he was horrible, you’d always go back to him. You guys were on and off but then you went to uni and realised that there were more fish in the sea. He still hits you with those ‘I miss what we used to be’ messages you every now and again to try and stop you from moving on.