Croydon is not that bad, honestly

There’s so much more to our hometown than knife crime and illegal raves


I feel like I’ve been done an injustice. Croydon’s built up a reputation as a rough, violent area with nothing but shit clubs and chicken shops.

Although I’m a big fan of both, I’m not a fan of the stereotype that Croydon’s the world’s most dangerous place.

There’s so much more to our hometown than knife crime and illegal raves, if you dare to step foot in the big bad Cronx.

The town centre

Central Croydon is a gem. Teenage girls all wearing the same outfit, or boys with different shades of black puffer jackets – it’s important to look your best when heading central, because you will always see someone you know. We have an abundance of shops, from discount stores that all seem to sell the same thing, to clothes shops with closing down sales from the day they open. Not forgetting ‘Croydon Village Outlet’, which was described as a “shambles” by the Guardian. I said a gem, not a diamond.

Street culture

Groups of Whitgift or Trinity boys hanging around in expensive Adidas ignoring their mum’s call as their phones vibrate in their side bags do not count as gangs. More importantly, most of what is branded as street culture actually provides genuine opportunities for young people in Croydon.

Rappers Krept and Konan recently attended a cabinet meeting to announce their after-school workshops to help school kids fulfil their potential and hone their creative talents as opposed to focusing on struggling academics. A message easily ignored when coming from parents, teachers, politicians, but taken on board when coming from influential and relatable figures such as Krept and Konan, who were brought up nearby and faced the same challenges as the young people involved.

Trams

OI? IS THIS MILAN? PARIS?! BARCELONA?! Nah it’s Croydon. It’s cool though, init. Whilst we’re still very unsure why any authority decided Croydon was the ideal place for a tramway system, we’re not complaining at all. Super speedy, super central and if you find yourself with more than a six minute wait for the next tram, this is a big deal. If the prospect of a night bus worries you, try the night tram. A smooth, well-lit, gentle roller-coaster back home.

Sandilands tram stop after 3.30 is basically an after-school social club

Croydon College

Tag line: “Could your future start here?” I mean, probably not, but it’s the thought that counts.

Chicken shops

Getting off the bus mid-journey to grab a ‘Favorite’ chicken is a definite thing. If you don’t have money to buy a Morley’s yourself, just hop on a tram and there’ll undoubtedly be a half eaten Rooster’s box of wings to nibble on.

The people

Ever read about the guy who lost half his finger at a rave and carried on raving? His explanation on why he decided to power through at the rave in the East Croydon post office was that he paid £10 for the night and was only there for an hour. He said: “I’ve lost my little finger – am I seriously going to go? Nah, I’m going to skank until I can’t skank any more.” Impressive, right?

And if this story of bravery and dedication to a cause doesn’t tug your heart strings, just have a chat to pretty much anyone on public transport in Croydon. You are guaranteed to meet some characters, all very keen to tell you their strange story.

There’s a carefree mentality in the streets of Croydon. What better example than Bernard, the Dancing King of Croydon. He’s been entertaining us for nearly 20 years. He started off as just countless ‘crazy street dancer!!!!’ videos on YouTube, and has flourished into a bona fide legend with his own channel. If you haven’t yet had the immense joy of watching him get his groove on, below is some recent footage filmed on the high street.

The clubs (well, Tiger)

Croydon clubs are truly something else. The purest, most genuine form of crap nightlife, yet still we find ourselves week after week on the tram down to George Street for Mischief! on a Thursday dressed in our finest creps ready for drunk chats with people we kinda knew from secondary school.

Love it or hate it, Tiger Tiger Croydon was a landmark. Its recent closure is a tragedy. Because what are we left with? Bar Txt, if you fancy joining middle aged school mums for a “cocktail night with the girls! x” and  Club 88, whose most recent Tripadvisor review is my favourite ever:

Our beloved Mischief! nights have gone from Tiger Tiger, to SLVR, to Club 88 and invariably we go with it. All we can hope is that Club 88 does it justice – and I heard its £2 drinks all night, so things are looking hopeful.

BOXPARK

A retail space first opened in Shoreditch, this October 2016 a BOXPARK is opening in Croydon. It’s basically a series of corrugated containers that hosts pop-up shops, food vendors, independent clothes companies etc. Boxpark Croydon will be dedicated street food and entertainment, unlike the original site in Shoreditch which includes retail. If it goes as well as it has done in Shoreditch, this could be a serious visitor attraction to Croydon, and from the looks of the opening party’s insane line-up, it’s going to be big.

This has encouraged the opening of a few independent coffee shops, cafes and workspaces. Crushed Bean, Byte Cafe and we can’t forget Matthew’s Yard, the original and the best, a secret little nook off of Surrey Street serving craft beer, great coffee and cracking food.

Really we’re a few beards short of taking the edgy lead from Shoreditch. Hold tight the Cronx.