What your Warwick sports club says about you

This is highly accurate


Being part of a sports club is a big thing at Warwick. Here’s what your choice says about what type of person you are.

A typical Warwick Surf training session

Surf

You’re either completely chilled out or running around naked, screaming and throwing vegetables at passers by. There’s no in-between. Being at the most landlocked university in the country means there isn’t much in the way of surf, hence a reputation of being a drinking club with a surfing habit. Despite this, you’re pretty sick surfers when the time comes. Plus, has anyone ever seen you without a flannel shirt?

Women’s hockey 

Good grief, what’s that awful screeching noise? Oh, that’s a Women’s Hockey circle. You’re highly competitive and vicious, even the rugby lot are a bit scared of you.

Cricket

One, two! One, two! A game for the summer months, which fall just outside pretty much every term. The overwhelming majority of the small amount of matches that are arranged are rained off. You’re well aware of this fact; it’s why you joined the club – you just wanted some mates to get pissed with, and let’s face it you’ve got a good sense of fun. You’ve got a strange obsession with grass and have a weird affinity for four-sided net cages. You probably went to a public school and you’re a bit scared of girls.

Snow

You’re a microwave fetishist who likes nothing more than skidding down an incline slightly out of control. You throw huge parties and like going out an awful lot. However, there’s no decent ski resorts in the UK and this is frustrating. If you’re a guy, the frustration will turn you into a ruthless womaniser.

Rowing

I’d tell you what being a rower says about you, but you might be quite insecure and I don’t want you to get upset.

“Oh, Jonty! I love your new half-chaps. Is that havana leather?”

Polo

You leave your Range Rover parked illegally on campus during training. You keep a bag of carrots under the seat. You may or may not have a cocaine habit. But the club is a tight knit group, and you don’t care what people think of you; and you shouldn’t! Keep on wearing those white chinos with pride.

Archery

You wish that those arrows were flying towards everyone who bullied you in secondary school.

Lads on tour.

Men’s rugby

You’re a lad, big time. Butt funnels, the loss of eyebrows and swift dumps in smoking areas mean nothing to you, you take them like a champ. You’ve been thrown out of pretty much everywhere for various reasons but it’s ok, you don’t mind where you are as long as you’re off your face and in a homoerotic scenario.

Thai boxing

You got bullied at school, and think the same might happen again at uni if you don’t learn to defend yourself. Senate House probably has you on some kind of watch list.

Women’s rugby

You’re completely fearless and crazy on the pitch. Everyone is scared of you.

Lacrosse

If you’re a guy you got involved with lacrosse because you could never get out of the rugby third team at school, so you thought it was time to take up something different. You’ll get annoyed with how seriously the girls take it all.

If you’re a girl you’ve probably played before, so it made sense to join at uni. You’ll get annoyed with how the boys don’t seem to take anything seriously. Nevertheless, you’ll all end up getting with each other at some point.

Yoga

You’re surf’s less cool sister. You still stole their font. You speak in a soft, breathy tone. You’re very left-wing and pretty lovely overall.

Football

You joined for the netball girls.

Netball

You joined for the football lads.

Swimming

You joined for the showers after training.