Everything you learn as a first year at Warwick

For freshers, university seems like life’s ultimate test to see how grown up you are. A year later you have realised that everything you wrote in UCAS was your ideal version of yourself and ultimately a lie.

You should never get with your flatmates

This should be engraved above every bed in the whole university because it is sacred. You know the two people who decided to ignore this and you’ve resented the awkwardness ever since. Flat meals never feel quite as fun when sexual tension is on the menu.

You aren’t as organised as you thought you were

A lot of us wrote on our UCAS about how organised we were, we thought it was a defining feature of our personality to be organised. Turns out it was a part of being in school. We aren’t organised, we don’t keep our diaries up to date like we used to and we don’t type up every lecture like we planned. Our room is a mess without mum telling us to tidy it and we’re late to things more than ever before.

So many post-it notes

How much you can’t drink

So maybe Purple isn’t for you, maybe gin makes you fall asleep in the corner of Kasbah or maybe anything more than a bottle of wine makes you vomit during pres but ultimately after a year at uni you will start to understand your limits. You might not ever pay attention to this new understanding and I’m sure you will make the same mistakes for the rest of your uni degree. But at least you’ve learnt the basics early.

Two bottles of wine is apparently too many

You’re actually gonna have to make an effort to keep up with friends

In school it was so easy, you just saw your mates in class everyday. Now if you have a friend in a sports team and you haven’t been to training for a week, you end up just not speaking to them at all. If your flatmates aren’t sitting in the kitchen you may not talk to them for a whole month. For the first time you actually have to make an effort and it’s bloody exhausting.

Recommended reading will always stay recommended

Who has time to read the whole of Dostoevsky’s War and Peace so that you have a better understanding of Russian History? Not me, for one. Plus you struggle to keep up with the main course materials you don’t have time for anything extra.

A 2:1 is a perfectly acceptable grade

Before uni we all wanted that golden first but after getting several 2:2 essays back you feel your heart leap at that wonderful 2:1. Uni marking is a hell of a lot harder and you’re suddenly delighted with a 62% grade and dream of one day hitting the 70s.

You’re unable to budget

Who knew life was so expensive, now you have to pay for food and rent plus a few pints on a Friday. Also, anytime you need a textbook it’s going to cost about three weeks worth of rent and you can’t find any cheaper ones on Amazon. It all adds up and soon your in you’re overdraft and stuck eating ice cubes whilst you beg your parents for some cash.

Maybe I should just order a takeaway?

Pasta and beer really do make you gain weight

All the comfort you eat the day after a hangover is seriously having an effect on the pre-uni bod you spent your whole summer working on. You’ve gained at least ten pounds and you’re getting out of breath going up stairs but hey, at least your happy.

You’re not indie as you thought you were

You might feel indie because you’re the only person in Cornwall who listens to the Artic Monkeys on vinyl but your vintage bomber jacket isn’t going to do you any favours here. We’ve all got one and it’s starting to become mainstream. If you really want to be indie at uni you really have to step up your game.

Too hipster for you

Everything you were once worried about was totally ridiculous

You did make friends, you do like your course and you’re able to cook beans on toast. You don’t miss your mum quite as much as you worried and you’ve had the best year of your life. All those things you worried about last year were such a waste of your time and you’re only just starting to realise that.