How to make friends before you leave Warwick

There are only a couple of weeks left of exam season and you have realised that you’ve made no new friends in term three. 

Not to worry though, we have compiled the complete guide on how to make friends in study spaces.

Also, if you’re desperate to get nominated as a BNOC then these handy tricks will help you make friends with the entire library and assuring your BNOC status.

Step One: Talk really loudly in the Grid

Talk super loudly to your friends about inane topics that no one cares about. Bitch about your friend Sam who liked your Instagram and then un-liked it moments after. Another topic of great conversation is discussing the spoilers for this week’s Game of Thrones super loudly because everyone will really appreciate it. If all of the previous fail,  have a seemingly angry debate in a foreign language, people around you will definitely want to join in. For extra points, do all of this on floor 3 of the Library.

That should be illegal

Step Two: Make yourself comfortable

Take up more room than you need. If you’re alone in the Learning Grid make sure you grab one of the booths designed for around four people, all to yourself. Or sit it a circular table and leave your stuff on the seats around you so no one else can sit down. It’s super helpful for everyone else around and really contributes to the study space problem!

Sure you got enough room there buddy…?

Step Three: Bring odorous foods for lunch

Take out the obnoxiously smelly food you prepared for lunch. Who needs Cafe Library anyway?If brining eggs or onion isn’t enough for you, you will really make friends if you bring a fish pie and heat it up in the flexi gri. Proceed to eat it as noisily and messily as you possibly can just to irritate people that tiny bit more.

Who eats a whole carrot cake?!

Step Four: Browse social media all day

Take out your laptop and proceed to go on Facebook/ASOS/Twitter/The Tab all day. We all need a little break every now and then, but if that break is the entire day sat at a plug seat in the library then people really will love you, you wonderful human being.

Looks productive

Step Five: Walk around barefoot

Take off your shoes. This is only effective if you have particularly smelly feet or are bare foot (if you wish to take off your socks too this step becomes even more effective). Some sort of toe fungus is preferable.

Can you not…?

Step Six: Invade other people’s space.

Leave your books on the table next to you even though someone is sat there. Maybe play a little footsie with the person opposite you acting as if you don’t realise your sockless feet are touching theirs.

Just leave your notes ontop of mine random stranger, that’s totally fine

Step Seven: Don’t get a room

Make out with a significant other nosily and publicly. Refer to them with ‘cute’ nicknames and don’t stop caressing them even though you’re in public and the people around you are deeply uncomfortable. This is particularly effective if you maintain it for long periods of time, several hours at best of cuddling whilst you read.

You had me at hello

Step Eight: Tell everyone how your exams are harder/more important

People love to be told that they’re working less hard that someone else or that the degree they work their ass off for isn’t as useful. This only applies to engineers, lawyers or scientists who hate their subjects so much they insist on shoving the ‘usefulness’ of them down other students throats. My degree in English Lit might not be the most practical but at least I don’t want to cry at the thought of attending another lecture on it.

Top tip: This is particularly effective when you tell stressed out first years their exams don’t matter even though when you were in first year you did exactly the same amount of work.

Oh wow how interesting, keep telling me how clever you are please