Everyone you will meet at Warwick in term 3

Term 3 at Warwick is stressful. You’ll find people crying into their revision notes and a whole multitude of library dwellers you never knew existed before.

Here is the list of all the people you will meet during Warwick’s most intense term.

The last-minute crammer

They have been coasting for the past few weeks. But this is it. The exam is in three days and they’ve done no revision yet. You will find them furiously reading texts books and studying into the early hours of the morning. Don’t disturb them unless you are going to ask them if they want a coffee or you come bearing new highlighters. They are not safe in this volatile state.

The one who comments on everyone else’s revision

You know what, I don’t care if you think I should reorganise my revision timetable or start using lined flashcards instead of plain. Let me do my thing and stop trying to recommend me good ‘study ballads’.

“This is the most awful thing I have ever read and I’m probably going to fail my degree”.

The anxiety-ridden fresher 

They have post-it notes galore, they’ve been revising for the past 3 months and are determined to get a first even though their exams don’t count. Let’s just hope this enthusiasm lasts until second and third year.

The one who drops out 

They cracked. But it wasn’t the one you expected. You thought Tom had his life together, he had a really neat filling system and always had a pen that worked. It seemed like he knew how to uni. But somewhere deep down, things had been going wrong for Tom and now he has jumped ship. Leaving you to wonder how you will ever make it through these exams if Tom can’t.

The pen clicker

They are evil, pure evil. You’re trying to revise in the learning grid and all you can hear is someone furiously clicking their pen with concentration. Good luck trying to focusing on Plato now.

You monster.

The procrastinator 

They are always in the library but never seem to actually do any work, they also like to talk about revision A LOT! But whenever you look over they’re just internet shopping and playing angry birds. Maybe they think that just sitting near books counts as revision?

The one with a stupid technique 

They swear that by sleeping on their chemistry text book that the knowledge will just be absorbed into their brain. Or something else equally weird. Either way their revision tactics sound like rubbish, I would steer clear.

The one who’s full of excuses

Well they couldn’t revise last week because they had to clean their room, and this week they can’t because they need to practice their Spanish…even though they study sociology. Just get on with it.

“Life just isn’t worth living anymore. I’m giving up, and moving back in with mum and dad”.

The one who has an actual breakdown 

One hour into revision and chill and they have chilled too much. The only logical thing to do is to drop out and get a job in the local chip shop, until they can figure out what they want to do with their life. Who wants a degree anyway?

The liar 

They claim to have done no work, but we all saw them in the library yesterday and they’re carrying ten laminated and colour-coded mind maps. They should just go home, no one wants to speak to them right now. It’s okay that they have been revising since February, but at least they should be honest about it.

The one who’s writing Tab articles to avoid doing their own work 

Guilty.