Stop lying to yourself, bar crawls in Warwick are terrible

All societies have a bizarre idea that bar crawls are the best ways to socialise. You get off campus, get to mingle with new people and usually end up at Smack. But aside from that, they’re just the worst way to pre-drink.

Look at how unhappy I look

You end up spending way too much money

When you leave with £30 and come back with £2.34

Let’s start with the cost. You’re going to spend upwards of £30 on a bar crawl as you traipse from bar to bar buying excessive amounts of drinks. Plus once you squeeze into the crowded bar you usually end up buying drinks for people around you who promise they’ll get next round but never actually do.

Coats are such a hassle

It’s too cold for togas

Next you have the ultimate dilemma of bar crawls, do you bring a coat? It’s going to be freezing cold when walking form bar to bar (because some reason social secs seem determined to make the route as long as humanly possible) and you’ll definitely want a coat then. But then you’re going to get into the end club and you have to either hold your coat or pay for the cloak room (another £2 you cannot afford to spend).

They are always rushed

Some people always peak too soon

At least when you stay in one bar you can sit down, sip at your drink and even if your friends are getting another you can take as long as you want. On a bar crawl you’re forced to down your drinks just before leaving. So if you’ve made the rookie error of a second pint, you’re going to be downing it like you’re at circle and stumbling out onto the street outside.

People start dropping like flies as the night goes on

There’s always one

Someone always gets lost. For some inexplicable reason, you start a bar crawl with 40 people and somehow you end up with 17 people making it to the end. You get the drunk morons who decide to stay in Kelsey’s all night and you get the couple that started getting off at the first bar and haven’t been seen since. Or look, it’s the poor fresher who has no idea how to navigate Leam and somehow ends up on a street corner asking for directions.

There’s always too much drama

When your friend has fallen at the last hurdle

Finally,the worst thing about bar crawls is that you end up getting totally smashed, shivering and usually anxious about the friend which disappeared in the Smack queue. Someone’s probably thrown up on/near you and ultimately you know most of your group won’t get in. If you make it past the bouncers, you’re stuck in the stupid costume you had to wear for the bar crawl theme all night and your chances of pulling get reduced to a strong zero per cent.