The best places to cry on campus this Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day will soon be upon us, reminding the loneliest among us once again of crippling undesirability. To help you, we’ve sought out the experts and have found the best places for you guys to cry, sob and pour your heart out on campus.

Tocil Woods

A popular place among our lonely hearts to have a moment was by the lake near Tocil Woods. The area is tranquil, quiet and scenic, perfect for the more thoughtful loner. The peacefulness allows you to take time to contemplate everything that’s beautiful in the world, then forces you to ask why none of it loves you back.

Outside the library

Underneath the library bridge is a familiar perch with every smoker at Warwick, providing protection from the elements as students indulge their bad habits. It is also an excellent place to have a little cry. Your surroundings make the perfect place to shield you from the world that has come crashing down on you as you humbly suck on your vapestick like the edgy bastard you are.

Costa Coffee

Hello darkness, my old friend

For trendy middleclass arts students, our experts recommend breaking down in Costa. As you sit there with your chi latte, nervously tapping your iPhone, you suddenly realise that she’s not going to turn up. Instead of bawling, we suggest just whimpering slightly as you come to terms with the fact that she won’t hear your opinion on Prozac Nation and that in fact you’re surrounded by others in the exact same boat as you. At once you feel a common identity with the others who have been stood up this Valentine’s Day and there’s something beautiful in that.

POP!

It might not be on Valentine’s Day this year, but POP! is always a great place to cry. The deafening renditions of Skater Boy and Stacey’s Mom will surely drown out your sobs so as to make an interesting mix of both very public and yet very unnoticed weeping.

The lifts in the Humanities Building

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

Walking into the depressing hulk that is the Humanities Building is traumatic enough but a favourite place to cry is within the lifts of this building. Stepping into the small, suffocating metal box for the first time you would be forgiven for being startled by the large mirror immediately in front of you. This provides you with an opportunity to come face-to-face with yourself and ask the person in the mirror why they’re alone. Obviously, they’ll have no answer and the crying may commence. It’s just nice to be able to see someone in the same position as you for once.

Whitefields

Whitefields too has been said to be a good place to cry. Walking passed the flats and glancing at their rough exterior you come to empathise with these halls of accommodation. Like Whitefields, you’re due a renovation. Like Whitefields, you were also nobody’s first choice. At once, for the first time in your life, you have a truly magical connection, it’s just a shame it’s with a series of horrid brown hovels.