How to fit in at Warwick

The ultimate guide

We all want to stand out in some way, but at the same time we also want to fit in. So here are some top tips to help you do so.

How to make friends

The best way to make new friends is to make sure that you are always the centre of attention. If you start to lose the sacred limelight, don’t hesitate to instigate a hearty debate by forming an opinion on something you’ve never cared about before, veganism, abortion, you name it. The more controversial the better.

On the other hand, to maintain old friendships with flatmates, it is important to set boundaries, like labelling your food to make sure no one touches it. It will show everyone that you’re in charge and also justify your anger when someone uses your ketchup. If you’re scared that this will make you seem neurotic, counteract it by not cleaning up after yourself. How could anyone claim you’re obsessive if you have eight dirty plates in the sink and left marmite smudged on the counter?


How to paint the town red

Much like making friends, nights out should revolve around getting people to remember your face. So instead of queuing for Smack, Neon, and Kasbah, make sure to push in by any means necessary. Nine times out of ten, you will be welcomed with compliments, and perhaps even a standing ovation, from those around you – they’ll be so ready to buy you drinks that they’ll literally be throwing them at you!! But on the off chance that someone is unhappy that you’ve squeezed in front of them, get into a heated argument and proceed to use violence if necessary. Then once you get into the club, make sure you’re way too drunk and that everybody knows it.


How to act in lectures

A great way to earn from respect your peers is to consistently swagger into lectures 10 minutes late. You’ll seem nonchalant and disinterested, giving off the perfect “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. Also, once there you should constantly ask the lecturer questions and try to intervene as much as possible, almost as though it’s a seminar. The people around you will not only think you’re effortlessly cool, but also an intellectual to be revered.


How to work

The best places to work are the library and the learning grid and the best way to fit in here is to have a chinwag with your new found friends in the quiet areas. When people overhear you, they’ll probably think your jokes are hilarious and will immediately want to join your group. Also, for some quality banter, when the library starts getting full you should take a plug seat when you don’t need a plug – it’s a joke that just keeps on giving.

How to dress

When deciding what to wear to university, think extremes: dress either as though you’re going to the Ascots or as if you have no home. To maintain the perfect equilibrium either opt for the classic outfit of a pink shirt, white chinos and brown shoes with a briefcase, and other times don’t even bother to wear shoes at all. If anyone calls you out on your choice of clothing (or anything at all, to be honest) laugh and claim that you’re being ironic.


Social media

A great way to fit in at Warwick is to use social media. To do this effectively, constantly write on the Freshers Facebook page and various group chats (without worrying about the content quality of your posts) to really get your name out there. Also, make sure to constantly keep your friends and followers updated: upload all the photos you have to Facebook, regardless of their quality, and make sure to put everything you do on your Snapchat story, whether it’s the walk to your lecture or what you had for breakfast.


Use all these tips and you’ll fit into Warwick with no problem!