The hard truth about Freshers’ Week

It’s not easy and it’s not fun


Despite every student maintaining that freshers was the best time of your life, there are inevitably the downfalls and disappointments that come with any over-hyped event – here’s what you should actually expect from your first week at uni.

Obligatory wristband selfie so everyone knows your uni is just as cool as theirs

Obligatory wristband selfie so everyone knows your uni is just as cool as theirs

The fact is, you are randomly thrown together with a bunch of people you have never met before, most of whom are pretending to be much nicer people than they actually are, and all of whom are terrified of looking uncool.

Which means that it’s more than possible that the best friends you make in freshers are are going to be your worst enemy by the Christmas holidays by which point their real personalities will have shone through.

"OMG we're just the bestest friends"

“OMG we’re just the bestest friends”

The freshers events themselves are unlikely to be the ultimate party they are advertised to be, especially if they are hosted by the SU.

Rave of Thrones is just an old man playing the same songs as any other average DJ – with the odd Hodor shout thrown in for good measure – but they’ll charge you double the price for it.

Paint/Foam Parties seem like a great idea but ultimately end with stinging eyes and frizzy hair thanks to the concoction of chemicals in bizarre foam they’re pumping out at you.

"My hair smells like a dishwasher"

“My hair smells like a dishwasher”

SU ticket schemes are also going to clout every fresher around the head like a ton of bricks. Although each individual event seems reasonable enough, don’t be fooled into buying a Freshers Pass, or worst of all, the Platinum Pass. Because of course you’ll be frequenting the grimy Copper Rooms that do one half-decent night a week, right?

Judging by the SU’s unprecedented success, or lack of, in launching their new night Flirt last year, which unsurprisingly didn’t make it into second term, it doesn’t look like the Copper Rooms are going to be overtaking Smack anytime soon.

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But aside from the nights out – what about those introductory lectures that invite you in to your new subject and prove to you that you made the right choice after those endless UCAS hours?

The induction meeting consists of reading the departmental handbook and receiving a lukewarm plastic cup of tea and lecturers are trying too hard to seem nice to really put you through your paces in your first week.

So don’t stress about your hangover – unless you’re in Westwood you’re close enough to get up at 8.45 for even the most brutal 9am.

It’s not all doom and gloom though: freshers definitely does give you the opportunity to blow off steam, as everyone else around you has no idea who you are, and even better, doesn’t care because they’re completely shit-faced. And you will inevitably bond with the few of your flatmates who don’t turn out to be assholes. Drunkenly finding your way back to your new halls after a mad one in the SU makes best friends out of anyone.

And you get to keep the free t-shirts, so you’ll never have to buy pyjamas again.