The definitive ranking of bizarre sculptures around campus

During a moment of extreme procrastination, we donned our black berets, queued the jazz and decided to go on Warwick’s infamous sculpture trail. Enamoured with what we saw, it’s obvious to the naked eye they’re a load of bollocks.

Op-Mobile Number 10 

It’s the weird thing dangling in the art centre but we actually kind of like this one. It’s probably meant to represent the creative DNA of Warwick students, but we just think it looks like a big Christmas decoration that the campus staff could never be bothered to take down. Whatever it is, we like it. Our verdict: just a bit shit.

Flayed StoneIII 

Nothing really comes to mind when looking at this big rock near the humanities, except it’s the most pointless thing we have ever seen. It’s too pointlessly shit to even deserve to place higher on this list.

Hawser, Higham Bight Funnel, Kentish Fire, The Final Flourish

The main thing we gauged from these sculptures is that they’re not very noticeable, as nobody we asked had ever recalled seeing them. The carving work is relatively impressive, but they just look a bit odd, like severed limbs.

Around Zero 

This big circle outside the chaplaincy is supposed to have a deep meaning, as it’s a zero, but not quite a zero. Pretty mind blowing. However, it was inspired by rubber window strips found in a scrap yard.

Needle of Knowledge Obelisk

A trippy reminder of the monoliths from 2001: A Space Odyssey, it seems to have appeared from nowhere and nobody knows where from or what it even means.

Apparently, the artist of this sculpture spent years honing the technique to create it. We’ll leave it up to you whether you think all those years were worth it or not.

Forest Planet

Like bombs dropped by an alien spaceship, they’re actually musical instruments. Hit them and sounds will come out. Sound interesting? Not really, you just look like an idiot standing on a patch of grass hitting a big rock.

Dark at Heart 

Peter Randall-Page, the artist of this sculpture, said: “I have tried to make a sculptural equivalent of an emotional state – the dark centre, the consciousness of being alone.” We reckon he may have spent a bit too much time alone, with certain parts of his body, if you see what we mean.

3B Series 1 

Rumoured to spell out the word ‘Toil’, which is rather fitting for a uni where it’s all work and no play. This sculpture has reminded Rootes residents since the late 60s of what it means to be a Warwick student, but at least it’s a pretty fun climbing frame. Our verdict: shit, mean, but sometimes fun.

Decay and Rejuvenation 

An ever-present part of campus, these may as well be part of the sculpture trail, as with all of the other sculptures, we have no idea why it’s here. We decided to name it ‘Decay and Rejuvenation’, a serious contender for the Warwick prospectus magazine, possibly replacing the famous Koan.

We were lucky enough to get an interview with the artist of this (literally) groundbreaking piece of art, Dave, 48, builder.

He said: “I wanted to make a piece that represented the breakdown of society, but simultaneously show the way we can unite together, cement the cracks in our culture and rebuild for a better, brighter future. Something I hope we all aspire to.”

The Koan 

Could it really be anything else? This strange piece of art that resides outside of the Art Centre and glows and spins around at night is so famous at Warwick that our new logo is based on two upside down Koans. What does this mean? Like all the other sculptures at Warwick, we really have no idea.