We rated all the wine you can buy for under a fiver

Bottoms up


We searched far and wide to find the top five wines for a great night out on a budget.

To be drunk on the corner outside an off-licence.

Lambrini (£1.99)

Top of the list is every fresher’s favourite, Lambrini. Not technically a wine, but always the best for a cheap, drunk night. At £1.99 a bottle, you can easily forgive the taste – just add squash (or strawberry liqueur) and the night’ll be one to forget.

Taste: 3/5

Price: 5/5

It could glow in the dark - we considered using it as a night lamp

It could glow in the dark – we considered using it as a night lamp

Wine for under a fiver - but you can't put a price on class

Wine for under a fiver – but you can’t put a price on class

Gallo Family Pinot Grigio (£5)

Although the most expensive of the bunch and an unpleasant taste at first sip, this Pinot ended up being chugged on the streets of Leam and led to the funnest night out of the five.

We’d disagree with the description of “apple and citrus flavours, with hints orange blossom and peach in the finish”, with our own description only consisting of “bad, really bad”. But it did the trick – expect crazy dance moves that turn everyone’s head.

Taste: 3/5

Price: 2/5

w3

w4

Echo Falls: Fresh Strawberries & Cherries Rose (£4.89)

This wine is described as “flavoursome” and “ideal for sipping in a sunny garden”.

In an attempt to reach this level of theoretical sophistication we went as far as adding cocktail cherries to our wine glasses but this couldn’t sway our initial description of “tangy, with hints of desperation”. Unfortunately this is as far as our review can go, because after that we turned to shots.

Taste: 2/5

Price: 3/5

Jar of cherries added a "je nais se qoui" to the evening

Jar of cherries added a je nais se quoi to the evening

Silver Bay Rose (£2.99)

Those of you who have heard of Silver Bay may agree with our description of the smell – “instant regret”.

This wine is one of the most cost effective: after a while you become accustomed to the taste and it works its magic at making you a happy go-lucky level of drunk.

Taste: 3/5

Price: 5/5

Who knew paint thinner would be a winner?

Who knew paint thinner would be a winner?

I Heart Pinot Noir (£4.99)

For the red wine lovers, we’ve added a token wine just for you.

But honestly, take our advice and do not drink red wine as a predrink. Don’t be that guy. We tried: we really did, but couldn’t drink more than one glass before feeling far too pretentious – the juxtaposition before a night out at Smack was too much.

Taste: 1/5

Price: 1/5

We didn't <3 Pinot Noir.

We didn’t <3 Pinot Noir