Dante Fierro: Fresher Messes and a Naughty Boyfriend Confesses

Dear Dante Fierro,
I have a bit of a problem- I am a Fresher and as soon as I get drunk I seem to become “evil me”- I strip, I cry, I am a general attention seeker. I once locked 2 of my close friends in my room and forced them to look at pictures of my dog and her puppies, whilst crying hysterically over how much I missed them. My first night at uni I smeared baked potato in my hair, later this term I attempted to steal an entire kitchen’s worth of cheese, then eat it all in one night. How do I stop this vicious trend?! I just want to go out and not wake up the next morning feeling ashamed and embarrassed.
HELP.
Anonymous.

Not feeling quite so ‘fresh’ now, are we?

We all have had it. The morning after where we have that one friend that always says, “Remember what you did last night?” Your heart automatically drops. Everyone who has got drunk have had nights similar to the ones you are describing so don’t feel like you are the only one. Again what does drunkenness begin with? A D, so get ready for the D perspective.

We all have an alter ego when we are drunk: some aggressive, some emotional and some hilarious. As a Fresher you are thrown into a world of Tesco Value Vodka and K Cider and one pint leads to another and you are crying about how you’re in love with that guy who tenderly finger-banged you in the toilets. As you enter your second term you will get to grips in handling how much you can drink and what your limits are. Dante’s tips when getting drunk are:-

• Never confess to a guy/girl that you like them when drunk.
• Remember spirits don’t kick in straight away so gradually drink spirits or opt for beer/cider which gradually gets you drunk.
• Know your limit – if you can do this, you can time when your ‘evil me’ does or does not come out and eventually not have that regretful feeling the next morning.

Lastly, your ‘evil me’ isn’t really evil, you sound like a laugh to be around and being drunk can allow you to show people you are a fun and, in your case, unique person. It’s also pretty impressive trying to eat a whole block of cheese as well. Very mature.

Dear Dante,
I have a problem. I have a girlfriend but I am in love with my best friend who lives opposite me… What do I do?

Thinking with your D can land you in a sticky situation…literally.

I will assume that your best friend is a girl, if not, let me know in the comments and I will follow this up. It sounds like your feelings for your girlfriend are waning and you should sit down with her and let her know how you feel.

It would be unfair on her if she had no idea that you think your relationship is going as well as Zimbabwe’s economy. In terms of your best friend, the temptation must be huge for you if she lives so close but you need to ask yourself whether you are only interested in a physical relationship with her or could you see yourself in a lasting relationship together? As seen with many situations concerning best friends, it is often mistaken that a strong friendship should be something more. Once it is tested out and often fails, the friendship is usually hard to get back to normal and in the long term you have lost a dear friend. So you have to ask yourself if you’re feelings are so strong you are willing to risk the friendship and pursue something more?

If so then perhaps it is right to break it off with your girlfriend and see where it goes with your best friend but remember – she may not like you!

Remember guys, any problems, anyone, anything; Dante Fierro is here to help. Write an anonymous message under the article and the D will be coming right your way.