Five things you should have been doing over summer

Didn’t fulfill those ambitious holiday plans over the Summer? Don’t worry, no one ever does…

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Another summer has passed, and whilst we should be returning to Warwick feeling satisfied with our productivity, instead we face the realisation that we have done, in a word, nothing.

Three months of infinite opportunity have again become the ultimate exercise in procrastination. Here’s a list of five student summer intentions vs their realities, so we can all wallow in shame together.

Academic…

Intentions: make a start on reading lists and follow a strict schedule, all in preparation to keep on track next term.

Reality: read every material other than the necessary books: magazines, travel guides for inter-railing trips we can’t afford, imgur…not a textbook in sight. On the bright side, you probably now know tons about Budapest.

Nutrition…

Intentions: undergo a detox following a year of pasta, ready-meals, and an end-of-term boozing session.

Reality: gorge on free food like a bear preparing for winter. At least it’ll feel warmer in those freezing Warwick accommodation houses with an extra layer (or four) of insulation.

Careers…

Intentions: research placements and decide which societies to join to boost CV’s.

Reality: ignore MyAdvantage in favour of Overheard at Warwick. Who needs an internship when you can anonymously mock your fellow students?

Family…

Intentions: use free time to bond with loved ones.

Reality: retreat into rooms like hermits, complaining that at University people don’t care when you’re going to be home for dinner, all while overlooking the fact that dinner is being made for you, for free, and you should just be grateful it isn’t a Tesco Value Pie.

Finances…

Intentions: take advantage of free food, water and electricity, all whilst limiting social extravaganzas to ensure the next academic year doesn’t end with a diet of toast for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Reality: forget that everything else still costs money. Eating out four times a week, multiple nights out and travelling the country to visit Uni friends is actually quite expensive. Time to pray for that student loan to come in early.

If this is all sounding worryingly familiar, comfort yourself with the fact that you worked really hard last term and deserved a (somewhat extended) break. You can tell yourself the hard work in first term will make up for the distractions of summer, but we all know that’s a lie. See you at Pop!