Compulsory drug testing to be introduced at UWE prior to exams

UWE students will undergo mandatory drug testing prior to sitting exams, with immediate effect.

The preliminary measure has been set in place to deter students from attending exams under the influence of illegal or unethical stimulants, and to subsequently catch those who do.

The concern regarding intoxicated students was initially brought forth by distressed invigilators, quoting that they had every reason to believe UWE students sitting exams in the ECC were under the influence of stimulants.

They further added the accused students had been demonstrating strange behaviour, showing signs of paranoia and restlessness in addition to "gentle headbanging" and "the odd beatboxer".

An email was circulated among staff. The email reads as follows:

"With recent negotiation from between the Avon & Somerset Police, Governors and University representatives, we have decided to pursue, with immediate effect, the mandatory testing of drugs and illegal stimulants among students at UWE before sitting exams.

"Naturally, we have taken on board each and every concern highlighted by staff and invigilators, and will therefore, unfortunately, have to take drastic measures to deter this unacceptable behavior from certain students."

Students will be selected arbitrarily and asked to take a mouth swab by present security and policing members. If they resist, they will face expulsion from the exam centre and potential threats to their place on their chosen course and/or at UWE.

In addition, invigilators who have reason to believe a student is intoxicated are within every right to stop the student mid exam to call for a test."

Testing will include a variety of stimulants and drugs such as MDMA, cocaine, ketamine and heroin and will also detect unsolicited use of 'study drugs' such as Modafinil and Noopet.

More news to follow as we are updated.

Please remain sensible and vigilant. Do not put yourselves in danger of being expelled from university. If you suffer or know someone who is suffering from addiction, take the necessary steps towards overcoming and Talk to Frank and tell him you’ve been pranked by the prank patrol. Happy April fools.’