All of the annoying things you experience when living in shared student accommodation
Uni housing has its perks, but dear god does it test your morality
Whether it’s the gamble of first year halls or carefully selecting the chosen few in second year housing, living with other students can be the ultimate ongoing saga of scandal. Unwilling, unfair and down right unreasonable.
Whether it’s the simple things, stealing of milk, the odd slice of bread here and there. Or the ultimate Jeremy Kyle of all scenarios, kitchen side ketty residue ready to fuck up your poached eggs on toast in the morning.
Passively solving our problems with the odd vent to the poor old pal who just popped in to say hey. We are ageing beyond our years, the kitchen side is full and none of its yours. Spending more time at the sink lathered in knock off fairy liquid and not feeling appreciated. Life is tough sharing your space and now its time to vent.
People who punch holes in your walls then it comes out of your deposit
The first rule of fight club – You don't punch walls in your own flat.
Stealing your milk and topping it up with water or just stealing any of your shit for that matter
Having your one essential diluted down to a translucent formula is not for the faint hearted. If I wanted fully skimmed and them some I'd become vegan.
Listening to your flat mates having ridiculously loud sex
Firstly, are u ok hun? Coming to the realisation that your flat mate should be studying a degree in acting. One more aggressive groan and I'm coming in. Also you can't be having that much fun in a single bed.
"Never have I ever" at pre's seen as some kinda entertainment apparently
Oh the days of underage drink at 14 seem so far away – because they are. Seen as an ice breaker to passively inform your drinking partners of that time you banged in a public area – then going to take a sip of your can of red stripe with that smug look of 'I know I'm just mental'.
Never have I ever played this game without feeling like a dick – DRINK.
Dissing my cooking / choice of meal
After a long day at the library studying and working hard on being a model student, its time to wind down and cook up a storm in the kitchen. The repetitive nature of a housemates diet may grate on you, you may have a condiment thats brought into every meal as a staple… some may have a thing for Sriracha? just an example..
You wont always agree on everything and you'll find this will be situated at the kitchen hob. Minding your own business whipping up your mum's classic recipe, to feel eyes burning in the back of your head to murmur some passive slur on what my creation looks like.
"Are you actually gonna put pepper on that"
"Omg that looks like sick"
JUST LEAVE ME BE AND LET ME EAT.
When people leave the heater on all day and its not cold – or air conditioning
To live a lavish life one must not shiver nor sweat their tits off. A happy balance is always required. Don't rack up bill – tis not worth the excessive visits to the thermostat to regulate your heating habits – get help.
Washing up – denying responsibility
Purely convinced your housemates did once have a slave and they died.
A house full of shaggy tribute acts – "It wasn't me."
Video games in the AM
Having a hobby is aways encouraged. It can enrich your uni experience. But most importantly so can plenty of sleep when not seshing. Plus who even plays video games anymore?
Some kind of symphonic morse code of slamming of doors resinating through the house just so you know they got home safe. And now waltzing through every room in the flat leaving a with a dramatic exit. Additionally hoping they succeed in waking you up so you can both write off tomorrow.
Not being a team player
Theres no I in team – But there is 'tea' wanna cuppa? always kind to offer you team player you.
Drug residue on kitchen sides
Rarely will you have that meal that gets you out of bed in morning, and when it does it usually will come in hand with whacking on some chilled tunes as you become one with dat boiled egg and green shit to make it look healthy. To then be faced with the devastation that your breakfast counter has become a victim of the war on drugs leaves two groups of people, happy with their free morning bump, or just simply not.
Smoking weed in the flat when we have a house viewing
This traditional colon of any pot head must be worn at all times -Apparently.
This requires hot boxing your room for all to enjoy, sit wait and wonder whether you're getting that deposit back or even allowed to remain in your halls after a meeting with Unite Students…exciting stuff.