Every person you’ll meet in Lakota

Stokes Croft, the gentrified hipster heartland, home to vegan cafés, political street art and – Lakota, the night of choice for many a discerning student. If you’ve ever been to Lakota, you’ll notice the vastly different types of people that come every weekend.

Wannabe DJ

This is the BIMM matey who stands by the stage, staring up at the DJ pointing out every wrong move they make. They’ll spend an hour lecturing you in the smoking area, sucking on their rollie whilst they talk vinyl mixing. Later, they’ll run off inside on their own to mosh to some song you’ll never have heard of before.

Crustys

Wobblers, wavy garms and a powdered house keys, these are the ones that sneak in over the fence and inevitably get kicked out about half an hour into the night. Commonly found in the smoking area asking for a pinch of baccy, or at the front of the crowd, grinding against the speakers.

Roadmen and roadladiez

University of Bristol students wearing any (expensive) sports brand that makes them look slightly more working class. These are the people yelling shut up at the stage at every grime night, wagging their fingers at the DJ and nipping off to the toilets every five minutes to powder their noses.

Red Stripes are life

First-years

Bum bags, braided hair, bottles of water and an endless supply of chewing gum, these guys have heard all the stories from their more adventurous mates and are now here, fully prepared for their first time raving. Catch them upstairs, sampling Anytime Cream’s finest or puking in the smoking area.

UWE Students

Inarguably the coolest people in Lakota at any given time. Stokes Croft is UWE territory and Lakota is the crown jewel. The UWE student is the one who offers you water when you’re coming up, takes you in as one of their group if you lose your friends and doesn’t have to rely on mummy and daddy to fund their weekly trips here…

Hahahaha money

The Veteran

The hard-core raver, the music lover and the most interesting person in the club. If it’s all getting a bit too much inside, sit back, relax and let one of these guys regale you with stories from Lakota nights past. They’ll tell you about the better times, when security was laxer, the alcohol was cheaper and the people friendlier. They wont stay for long though, they are self-proclaimed “slaves to the music” and will rush off inside without a moments notice when they hear the first beat of their favourite song.

The Serial Snapchatter

iPhone held steady, eyes glazed over and a 500-second snap story. These over excitable kinds want everyone to KNOW they’re at Lakota. It wasn’t enough to Tweet, Facebook and Instagram about it – oh no, they’re now going to liveblog it too so that all their mates from back home can see how cool they are. If you ask one of these guys who’s currently playing on stage, they’ll smile and nod, clutching their iPhone in hand.

Look at this vibesy scene

The Liability

We all have that one mate who goes too hard too fast. They’ll spend the first half of the night being totally outrageous, flirting with security, downing red stripes and attempting to get with people whilst you and your mates laugh, egging them on. Suddenly, everything changes and you’re either left with a chundering mess, sick all in their hair and all down their front or you’ve got to pull them off of someone else before they get kicked out for punching poor Adam from Surrey.

The bumout one

These are the ones that insist on coming along despite the fact you’ve told them a hundred times Lakota really isn’t for them. Lo and behold, the minute you get there they start whinging “Do they not do Rosé here?”, “Why is everyone so sweaty”, “Do we have to go outside, I hate the smell of smoke”. They’ll take a couple of pictures for their Instagram to prove that they’ve been and then spend the next couple of hours trying to convince you to leave with them, before finally ordering a taxi home alone.

She is definitely not the bumout one

The SWXers

The lads have tight tank tops and gelled hair, the girls are bleached blonde, wear bodycon dresses and only ‘socially’ smoke. They’ve taken a wrong turn at the bearpit and ended up in a place more about the music than the sex. They walk around with confused, slightly frightened looks on their face and inevitably spend most of the night in the smoking area, or in a quieter part of the club, putting in the graft with unsuspecting first years.