SU Tuesday to be opened to University of Bristol Students

The Tab can exclusively reveal that senior figures from the UWE Students’ Union have declared that SU Tuesday will be opened to students from the University of Bristol in a bid to bring more money onto campus and better assimilate UWE students with their neighbours.

It is believed the SU are unsatisfied with the number of people turning up at Tuesday’s Lock In, and are getting desperate, hoping that opening the doors to UoB will fill the venue and create a better environment for everyone.

Our sources suggest that UoB students will be given queue jump into the SU and discounted drinks if they pay a fee of £4 each week, in order to attract more of them and hopefully have over one thousand of them there each Tuesday, starting today April 1st.

This is already proving incredibly popular with Bristol University, reports suggesting that over five hundred have already signed up for the Lock In on Tuesday the 12th of April.

In contrast, many at UWE are outraged and apprehensive about the decision, with a UWE student who chose not to be identified telling the Tab: “This is completely ridiculous, it’s unbelievable. The fact that they’re being given access to our SU on our favourite night of the week is appalling. Firstly it will stop loyal Lock In attendees from being able to get into their favourite night, and then of course there’s the tension that will be caused by this rash decision, I guarantee there will be fights each week.”

Happier times

The Tab have since heard that the security presence at the Lock In is going to be more than doubled in an effort to prevent the inevitable violence.

It appears that the SU have made the decision after profits from the Lock In fell once more, making UWE drop off the NASDAQ list for the first time in a decade.

Furthermore, SU officials want us to expand our horizons, and make the first move towards greater cooperation and enrichment between the universities.

One more of the SU’s concerns is that the same people attend each week, making it harder to meet new girls, so clearly they hope Bristol girls will arrive in droves.

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