My secret life as a male prostitute

I’m 24, I study in Bristol, I’m a dude and I’m a homosexual – this undeniably means that all my experience in the “sex trade” is between one man and another (or more) so if you’re a straight guy looking for advice on becoming an escort you’re gonna have to look elsewhere, sorry mate.

My first encounter with a male prostitute was not in the circumstances one might expect. I’d met a nice guy online (yes it was on Grindr, I’m not proud of that) and invited him to a party. We got on well and started seeing each other more regularly. It was around the two/three-week mark when he told me of his past experience as an escort. I had no qualms with this fact. We all do things we might one day regret, I thought. So the relationship continued, we moved in together and played happy families for a year or so.

Then things broke down, it got messy and we both said and did things we would later regret. Anyway, months and years went past and he drifted out of my life. Then, one idle weekend I was trawling through the garbage on Grindr when up pops a message something along the lines of “I pay to suck how much?” – the use of grammar on these hook-up apps would make Charles Dickens turn in his grave. This was the first time I was propositioned in such a way and it was not to be the last.

I can’t remember the exact figure we agreed on, it was so long ago. However, I do remember having absolutely no idea how to price my “services” (although to be fair it was he who was servicing me). It’s like selling your own artwork. You don’t want to seem arrogant and overprice it, but you don’t want to sell yourself too cheap. I had a quick Google to help me come up with a figure.

The next time I received a message like that was around a month later. This time he wanted sex. Now when it comes to being an “escort” I’m quite selfish. I want all the pleasure, minimum effort and, of course, I want the money. Not being willing to suck on a stranger’s member or bend over and take it like a man undoubtedly means I lose out on potential customers (and probably a lot of money) but personally I am not comfortable blowing old men and I’ve always been a top in the bedroom anyway: I’m a giver not a taker.

In the two years or so since my first experience of escorting I’ve made good money and had offers of luxury holidays, none of which I’ve ever taken because that’s probably how people get murdered. My prices range from person to person, not because I deem one man to be better looking than another, but because I haggle the best price I can get and some people are just willing to pay more than others. For example, the lowest I’ve ever been given was £25 for someone to fellate me and the most was £50. The cheapest I’ve charged for me to have full sex was £50, the most was £150. None of these encounters ever involve kissing – that’s a little rule of mine, and of many escorts both male and female.

It can be very easy to make money by escorting. Some of the easiest money I’ve made was £40 to sit next to a man while we both masturbated. There wasn’t even any touching and I’m pretty sure he hardly even looked at my dick. The very easiest money I ever made was selling a pair of smelly socks to a guy for £20. The best part is they weren’t even my socks. I had tried to work up a sweat in my trainers over a few days, wearing shoes wherever I could and not changing my socks but my feet weren’t playing ball. I do feel kind of bad for stealing my mate’s socks and selling them on but when you’re a student, your loan is running dry and Christmas is coming this kind of thing is a no-brainer (for me, anyway). Plus I bought him a new pair.

Another of my favourite rent-boy moments was when I was offered the very beneficial exchange of an iPhone 6 for a blowjob (I was on the receiving end of both). The iPhone 6 had only just come out at the time and I was walking around with a 4s like some kind of caveman so this was an offer I couldn’t refuse. It was also an offer which seemed too good to be true so I was wary going into the encounter – I always am, but this time more than ever. But fortune favours the brave and I got my end away and walked off with a new phone worth over £500.

Another aspect of sex work which is gaining increasing popularity is webcam modelling. There’s a lot of sites out there. The one I use is great – you just have to send in a copy of your ID, which admittedly feels a bit weird at first but it is a reputable website, and then you’re ready to make money. The first time I went on this site was with my ex and we made good money. I think it was about £160 for half an hour. But it wasn’t soon after this we broke up so I forgot about the website and went on with my life.

Then, about six months ago I was broke (story of my life) and suddenly remembered this brilliant source of income – getting paid to masturbate in the comfort of your own bed is bliss. Admittedly you can make a hell of a lot more money if there are two or more of you but I was lucky enough to have a lovely American man take a bit of a shine to me. He paid me in lump sums of about $100 a go (a normal tip on this particular site is around $2).

One of the best things about this site is the ability to upload an Amazon wish list. At the moment mine consists of various sex toys, clothes, shoes and an iPhone 6 – my last one got pretty smashed up on a drunken bike ride in Copenhagen. Anyway this American of mine has “donated” a good few hundred dollars to me in the month or so I’ve known him and he’s previously bought me one of those remote controlled quadcopters with a camera attached – it’s amazing. And for that I think all I had to do was give him a private showing of me masturbating upside down and ejaculating into my own mouth. Admittedly not one of my finest moments but I GOT A FUCKING QUADCOPTER!

The final area of the sex trade I want to talk about is porn. My most recent ex was a porn star. This was, of course, a little odd at first but I couldn’t exactly come into a relationship and demand he quit his job because I didn’t like it, so I just accepted it because I’m not a dick. We were only together for a few months but in this time he went and did a few films. The worst part about it wasn’t him getting bummed by other guys, it was that he wasn’t allowed to get freaky with me for two days before each shoot (pun intended). He was paid good money – usually about £300 per film. The most he was paid was £600. I was very tempted to get into porn when we were together and I came close. My first film was going to be an eight-man orgy – talk about getting chucked in at the deep end.

Sadly, or maybe luckily, we broke up before this came to fruition. I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to do the film at the time so it was probably a good thing – even though I never plan on becoming President of the USA I still probably wouldn’t want that skeleton lurking in my online closet. Actually I think the main reason I wouldn’t do porn at the moment is my nan – she would be more than a little unhappy. She refused to speak to me for months after I got my nose pierced so I can only imagine how she’d react after hearing I’ve starred in Night of the Giving Head, Drill Bill or Edward Penishands (all genuine porn titles).

If you’ve read up to here and think I’m a disgusting human being and everything I’ve done is so abhorrent I should be stoned to death, yet you still watch porn – you are a massive hypocrite. Prostitution is just like the porn industry, just there’s no camera involved. And people who watch porn but think porn stars are for some reason lower beings than them are sanctimonious c**ts – if it weren’t for these people you’d have no porn to watch and have to wank over thoughts of your actual girlfriend/housemate/neighbour/cousin so show some fucking gratitude.