What your Bristol road says about you

It’s all true


Ah, Bristol. Our beloved city home to diverse nightlife, endless chicken shops and wavey roadmen.

It’s a weird, wonderful place where you will see everyone from smack heads to students via upper-class princesses.

It might not always seem loveable, but some choose to settle down here for three whole years, some even more – and what road they live on says a lot more than you might think about their personality.

Filton Avenue

Sick m8

Filton Avenue is for those students who never properly left Frenchay Campus. Living on Frenchay last year was probably the best year of their lives, and they couldn’t bear the thought of being out of range to that free bus to SWX every Saturday, so they moved to the closest thing to Frenchay – Filton Avenue.

Anything beyond this road and campus is alien to them. A typical Filton Avenue student has probably ventured into Bristol once sober, for a “fresh trim”. This probably resulted in them getting disgracefully lost and breaking down into tears inside the Bearpit, having to get their housemates at home to call them a taxi back to the safety of Filton Avenue.

Stokes Croft

The holy grail of smackheads

If you live here and you’re not one of the local smack heads on the streets, then you’re probably some edgy kid in a Ralphy polo cap. These kids probably consider themselves local weed connoisseurs, hot-boxing their flat above Lick ‘n Chicken day in and day out, pissing away their deposit, unaware of how many lectures they’ve actually missed this week. Lakota at the end of the road is probably the furthest they’ll travel in one week,and, of course, the after party is at theirs.

Gloucester Road

Yawn

Sat in between Filton Avenue and Stokes Croft, Gloucester Road acts as a middle ground who were maybe just a bit too adventurous for Filton Avenue, but maybe not quite wavey enough for Stokes Croft. Gloucester Road students probably make up 60 per cent of Bristol’s stupidly large cycling community, if you aren’t quite sure to expect of a Gloucester road student, that kid on a fixie bike sat waiting at the traffic lights next to your bus window is probably one of them. They’ll probably be wearing some disgusting retro jacket too.

Redland

But how the hell do I get out?

Redland is that mysterious place somewhere between Clifton and Gloucester Road, yet no one really has a clue where it starts or ends. Possibly the most middle-class place you will ever visit, Redland harbours those students who just couldn’t quite get a property in Clifton. If you’re a UWE student living here, you’re probably quite fancy – but it’s probably the opposite for UoB students.

Actually being one of the more popular student areas in Bristol, there probably are some cool things going on up there. But due to practically everything looking the exact same within Redland, it might be quite risky venturing up there if you don’t have 2GB of 3G spare to waste on Google Maps.

Fishponds

Fishponds is pretty much just that weird area that no one really knows about other than Glenside students. If you’ve ever caught the number 13 bus back from Frenchay, the drab streets you will be staring out the window and think: “Where the hell am I?”. Well, it’s actually the bleak landscape of Fishponds. Wave to the random drug dealers outside – there’s not much else to do here.

Clifton

‘Ave some of that

Everyone knows what’s going on if you live in Clifton. Seperating yourself from the rest of Bristol on top of that big fancy hill, your parents pay for that £650 per month for the mansion you live in along with Pippa, Mille and Lexi from halls last year.

Your Audi A3 you got for your birthday is parked outside, and you use it to drive to Waitrose for weekly shops. You’ll occasionally indulge yourself in a night out on the triangle, but everywhere is just a little too grimey for you. Really, you’d rather spend a night in drinking G&Ts with your best pals from the Conservative society.

Easton

Just another normal day at Easton

If you’ve ended up living in Easton you probably never had a clue what you were doing. You left it too late to sign a tenancy so jumped at the first affordable one available without researching the area. You now live nowhere remotely near anything useful to you, surrounded by nutcases. You’ve probably also been burgled. Twice.

Happy house hunting.