A northerner’s impression of Bristol

When I was growing up my parents would tell me horror stories of what lay beneath the border of Birmingham. Posh, snotty people living in cities where Greggs wasn’t even the leader in fine cuisine.

However in September of last year I decided to defy everything I had been warned about the south and take the big leap in the cultural gap from the small northeast city of Sunderland to the big party city of the southwest, that is Bristol.

Sunderland has a mint bridge too

Now at first glance Bristol had everything to offer: outstanding nightlife, an excellent mix of city and country and a cultural mix that shone above any city I had visited up north. However as soon as I stepped foot into UWE I was met with, “sorry can you please repeat that?”, in a variation of posh southern voices that all sound the same to me.

How is “Scarleet, how yea deeing like?” that hard to understand?

Without fail, the first question everyone asked me would be: “So where are you from? You sound Welsh…but also Scottish?”. Now, it’s fun to laugh at your ignorance but when you meet my reply by going: “Oh so you’re from Newcastle, Geordie Shore whyaye!”, I will not smile back.

I’m a Mackem. You’ve probably not heard that word before, because MTV never based a reality show there. For the easily confused, Charlotte from Geordie Shore is from Sunderland. A great win for the city.

When is MTV gunna start filming in Bristol? West Country Shore anyone?

“But where even is Sunderland ? I’ve never even heard of that place?”, is a common question I receive, mostly from thick blondes waiting in the queue at Thekla.

Well, it’s a city about 10 miles from Newcastle. At least the lads have heard of it, mostly thanks to Match of the Day but I’ll give them that.

Ha’way the lads!

Another personal favourite of mine living down south is: “Wow so you’re basically Scottish!” Close enough I guess, if you forget that it’s an entirely different country. Im clammin on an Iru Bru now you wee bastar!

But nothing will beat my one favourite part of being at uni down here and that is getting “mortal” and noticing that now nobody can understand a single word I say. After a good few JD and cokes the flummoxed faces around pre’s start to appear as the southern vocabulary doesn’t include: “Hew yea reckon I can dun this then bledge owa tee wor flat and nab me provi”.

Travelling home was one of my major concerns at first. After spending 10 hours on a Megabus I knew there must have been a better option. That’s where cheap internal flights came in. Nothing beats bragging about how after lectures I’m heading off to duty free to nab a few cheeky bottles of cheap whiskey then jump on a 45 minute flight home all for the bargain price of £40 return.

Fleein’ hyem next month!

All in all the South may not be as bad as my strictly northern family had warned me but I can confirm the friendly northern stereotype is definitely true, when compared to the locals down here. If you want any proof, feel free to come over and speak to me. Just, don’t call me a Geordie.