Bristol’s Buses Are Hell On Earth

Every  September I live in hope that over the summer someone from management has burst into the boardroom at Wessex Bus HQ and said “we’ve just realised the guy running the show has been drunk the whole time, we are going to improve everything, compensation for all”.  Every student knows that using a Wessex bus can be a scary and frustrating experience. Here’s the low down on the four most hellish experiences you will without a doubt have to get through when relying on this service.

1. You have to have oil baron parents just to afford the fare

Transport in Bristol is the most expensive in the country outside of London. If we take a mathematical approach to this we can see that the average day ticket costs £3.00. Now if you times this figure by two to account for you losing said original ticket, add £2.00 for crucial journey snacks and drinks, plus £5.00 for music downloads per journey which  makes the ride almost bearable, it turns into a wholly expensive affair.

This sort of quality doesn’t come cheap

2. Timetables essentially mean nothing

Students soon come to realise that timetables are actually a secret code for, ‘this bus will turn up when it wants, if it wants’. You wake up (on time-ish), sprint to the bus stop, sprint back home because you have forgotten your wallet/purse, wait in a thunderstorm and tornado for two buses that don’t turn up, then finally make it onto a bus packed full of other soggy wet people and don’t get a seat.  People aren’t late for buses, buses are late for people.

3. There needs to be a mandatory deodorant-wearing-on-bus law

The rules of the universe mean that wherever you sit on a bus, the local soap dodger will find and sit next to you, talk about their guinea pig collection for the whole journey and make you look at pictures. Not even drawing a handlebar moustache on your face and wearing sunglasses can hide you from the bus oddball.  If the person sat next to you isn’t dirty, your seat will be.  If you get up without something sticky and green stuck to the back of your coat, you’re the lucky one.

In many ways the smell of the bus burning is preferable to that of the passengers

4. Bus drivers don’t actually like passengers.

Try paying the fare with a £10 note you’re met with a scowl. Try paying with the correct change, you’re met with a scowl.  Get on with a drink you’re met with a scowl.  Offer the driver a sip of your drink you’re met with a scowl. Even if it’s your birthday do not expect any friendly greeting or conversation from the driver.  You get on you get off.   There is nothing you can do to change the system.

So my bus travelling compatriots, be jealous of your smart friends who own a car or live next to uni, for they will never feel our pain.  Until students have a solid alternative of getting to uni (like micro-scooters or roller skates) we are captive to being over-charged and under-loved on our daily bus journeys.