A guide to saving your Ocean accessories

Look don’t touch


We all look forward to an Ocean Wednesday with the squad but as soon as the week’s theme is confirmed, a looming sense of dread develops at the back of your mind – will the doodle boppers make it?

Chances are they won’t, unless you follow these handy tips to make the most of your gear.

Purchase wisely

The more accessories you take, the more likely you are to lose them, that’s just science. 

Going over the top and looking out of this world amazing may be the best way to pull in the big O but it’s just not practical for the entire outfit making it home ready for another week. 

Stick to 2-3 pieces of kit at most that can all be securely attached to your person. Hats are always risky and must be worn with serious caution. It only takes one jäger drenched nutter lunging for your headwear before you’ve lost it.

Less is more.

 Fight for what is yours

A fit chirpse walks up to you and helps themselves to your hippy glasses, what do you do? You snatch them back of course.

You stumble off your face into Rugby corner and before you know it a 6 foot-something lad is wearing your plastic fireman’s helmet. Obviously you risk your life, kick off and get it back.

It doesn’t take much to take back what is yours, and if you don’t try, you probably didn’t even deserve the fancy dress in the first place.

LADS!

 Tag Team

Pick a partner and keep an eye out for number one’s outfit accessories the same as they would do for you. Take stock after leaving each bar on the crawl and be prepared to dive in front grabbing hands in the middle of the dance floor.

Be the best version of the lovely strangers you meet in the toilets who let you borrow their hairbrush or deodorant that you can and make sure your mate is looking on point for hours.

Partner in grime

Super Glue

Seriously. We’ve all tried it haven’t we? If you glue your belongings to your body then they will 100 per cent make it home with you, unless you tear them from your face in a drunken rage in the smoking area surrounded by horrified onlookers.

Alternatively, UHU glue, PVA or eyelash glue are safer, less painful options but you just don’t get the same quality semi-permanent attachment to the plastic equivalent of £1.99.

R.I.P to my eyebrows.

 Go bare

Wear a plain costume maybe with some face paint as well. You won’t be on ‘Clubbers of the week’ but sacrifices have to be made.

Lose your dignity, just not the fancy dress.

Whiteboard is so tame.